Smoke

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by miny_girl_LP, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. #1
    miny_girl_LP

    miny_girl_LP wow the dark side has cookies!I'm there!

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    It's been so long since i have decided to post one of my works here, so it's a first for me and please,oh please go easy on me....have pitty on my little tortured soul, but .... come to think of it.... don't.That way i'll learn where my mistakes are.:D

    Smoke

    Sit there in the corner...
    look outside.
    The dark sky is simply magnificent isn't it.
    Oh, how you wish you were a part of those stars.
    Right?
    Me too.
    Take a deep breath...
    there's something missing,
    isn't it.
    Take out your lighter from your back pocket.
    Ya, the black one.
    Take your time...
    don't rush.
    Look at the glittering metal.
    It's cold...
    and so simple.
    You don't need to look for an explanation.
    It's there to provide you with the most gentlest spark,
    the spark that provides you the most relaxation.
    Test it...
    roll the little metal ball...
    watch how the spark lightens up your face.
    Makes you feel cosy,huh?
    Test it again...
    the flame just glides up through the air,
    leaving it's most delicate scent,
    the scent of fire.
    Test it again...
    look at it how it trembles only from your calm breath...
    calms you down doesn't it?
    Feel it!
    Take in every second of it...
    feel the warmth caress your cheeks.
    And there in the dim light,
    in the white and lack shades,
    feel your cheeks blush
    and give out a pink glow.
    In this situation
    a smile creeps up your face...
    it's almost perfect,
    isn't it?
    Only one thing missing.
    Crawl away from your spot
    to the most secret place in your room.
    If your mom only knew!...
    Ya right! Don’t spoil the moment.
    In the darkness a slim silhouette forms shape.
    That's it the one thing
    that you've been waiting all day long.
    A slim, light
    cigarette.
    Make you're way to the cozy corner again,
    cross your legs and place your back against the wall again.
    Hold it firmly between your fingers...
    take your time...
    feel every curve of it's shapes...
    every different texture.
    When you're finally aware
    how much it means to you
    hold it between your lips.
    Breathe through it first.
    Inhale it's light taste...
    feel all that awaits you once you light it's end.
    *spark*
    There...
    finally!
    Your salvation.
    Take a deep drag...
    let the smoke enter your lungs
    killing you slowly every second it crosses your system.
    Oh, but how good it feels!
    All your troubles,
    all your cares are burnt
    like a useless piece of paper...
    no more there to bother you, rigth?
    Right there in that perfect moment
    you fall in a black whole in your mind
    and forget everything form your day
    and even the fact that your parents are in the next room.
    Right there in that perfect moment
    you have nothing to think about.
    You only gaze at the beautiful light smoke
    that escapes your lips.
    And right there in that perfect moment
    there's nothing on your mind
    just the perfect feeling in your excited heart
    that you're just having a
    Smoke!
     
  2. #2
    GrafiTTied

    GrafiTTied Well-Known Member

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    A very different way of delivering poetry, i havent come across such a method. Im digging the first bit the middle could use a bit of work the end I dont mind at all.......
     
  3. #3
    miny_girl_LP

    miny_girl_LP wow the dark side has cookies!I'm there!

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    thanks...your opinion really means something to me:)
     
  4. #4
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Nice. It was really different, seemed to walk the line between poetry and prose. Good job. I can't relate to it, but the way it was written was really nice.

    You might want to proofread it though.
     

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