She rises from her early grave The ashes fall from her flames Earsed smile from her face Smudged feelings, cant replavce These torn feelings Staring straight through Have no hope Lead us to death Casu...casualty Casu...casualty
mmm... i think this would be good if you extended it more. it's kinda short. this first part is really good and if you wrote a couple more verses to go with it, it would be a good poem.
NIce, really nice. SOme poems are ment to be short and although this is really great i feel that it could be better if it was a bit longer. Keep writting, extend it if you have time or feel like it. A completely amazing poem waiting to be uncovered
It's good, but I do agree with both fallenangel and D_A_V_I_D that it would be better if you extended it. It seems your talented in writing though, it probably wouldn't be a problem. Just remember what you write is yours, and if you like how it is now, than it's perfect.
I get what you mean. But its lyrics to a song I'm writing..I dont really like the second verse. I think I'll change it to go with the first. But yeah... Thanks all the same