Made up by people on the internet, not real facts...these are freaking hilarious! edit - Link is always good. http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty "Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf."
"Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement." That was hella funny "After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane". Now, that's proabby the second more funniest thing ever"
"One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris." That has got to be the best "fact" out of them all.
TRUE fact: I teach Chuck Norris' grandson Tae Kwon Do. And his wife is WAY more outspoken than the man himself.
No, he's too busy beating the shit out of goats. "Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies". !
Chuck Norris started riding a Segway to work during filming of Season 2 of Walker Texas Ranger, a full ten years before the Segway was “invented.” Rather than a wheel on each side, his featured 30, 1/3 sized replicas of his legs arranged in a radial pattern, effectively roundhouse kicking any terrain he encountered.
He teaches a form of Karate. And feels that his grandson should get a varied mix of martial arts. Not to mention it's really up to Chuck's son, who is also a nice person, BTW. And Dante (grandson) definitely gets something from Chuck.
"If the Hebrew equivalent of Vin Diesel's name is ever spoken aloud, the sun will go dark and "The Pacifier" DVD sales will skyrocket." LMAO.
"Chuck Norris is his own father." That one goes well with this one: "Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did." Contradictive statements are amazing!
The funniest one is... "Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress."