Kinda long.. On the Equator Much danger came in the form of the masked rapidly forming lies To which the tears that I had shed did not hide A relationship lost and while a journey comes to replace it I just don't know if I can even face it To question everything I want to know why all red birds sing Why the desperate soul floats Down a lonely stream without a boat What happened to the girl that didn't care what people thought of her? Did she adapt a different attitude or did she change? I remember the times we had talked in a dark and dusty room Thoughts that we shared, a sense of togetherness I wonder where she is now Because I can't seem to forget her The comfort that she had given me Strength when I was the most weak Most days I had sat alone in a room that was painted a sky blue Those walls reflected my feelings, that horrible sick grief I think that part of myself had died in there But I think that part of me was born there too While a sigh had escaped her I had taken the time to kiss her And I had laughed at how she had blinked A sense of togetherness It was at the end of the year and my grades could not be transferred I had just moved there but it was meaningless At school my mind had floated idlely behind an empty desk There was not any reason to really stay And yet I wish that I had Even though she told me that it was okay Its kind of painful to think about That red scar that's bleeding blue While its the sunlight that shines through the gaps of some white curtain blinds There is only a sadness that shines through me I'll try to write a narrative so I can put these thoughts at ease And begin to climb towards that far sinking sun Her favorite song dances But in a far and delicate breeze That I've come to think of as despair That Grey cloud called memory And now that old blue sky is the reflection in a deep blue sea Now my thoughts are floating on the equator Even though I miss her so much I feel a sense of weightlessness Because I've finally took an step forward Lighter than I was before Trying to find my identity Like being pulled by a distant moon My heart's become magnetic Emotions played like the G chord vibrating though a steel pitch fork I think that I've found my soul in its echo And the soft starlight that illuminates its dim transparency And now its a soft calmness that shines through me Setting the path to walk on Laying down the foundations to call upon a new hope I'm being pulled by a distant moon As auburn light beacons me Attempted syllable pattern, 16-11-16-11, 7,9,7,9 -Repeat. C&C welcome
It is a bit long, but at the same time I think this is some of your best work and that you did well within the structure that you decided on.