North Plateau

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Zakrisk, Feb 19, 2008.

  1. #1
    Zakrisk

    Zakrisk Smoke weed.

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    North Plateau

    Drink the liquid ceiling while it comes on down.
    In this debt, you're wallowing. In the love, you're gonna drown.

    You didn't make it too far when everybody died.
    So many times, you ask me, why do we lie?

    Will I ever find you again. Did you call?
    There's a thousand mysteries. It might revolve.

    Let us live on through this.
    Let us make it there.
    Let us make it where? To death.
    Let us make it there.
    Let us get there early, and let us find the stare.
    Let us get there early, without a lustful glare.

    [If you want to listen to the demo of this song go to www.myspace.com/zakrisk ]
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2008
  2. #2
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    It's good! but I would chance some words, not that my opinion means anything though but here is what I would change

    Drink the the liquid ceiling while it precipitates now
    In this debt, you're wallowing, With a gentle caress ,you're gonna drown.


    the rest is perfect, not that it wasn't good before it's just that I prefer the words "Precipitate"
    and I also like to think of love as "Gentle Caress"
     
  3. #3
    Zakrisk

    Zakrisk Smoke weed.

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    Well, I kind of wanted it to be a trippy picture, though, in reference to being on drugs. When I was younger and someone was telling me about a time they listened to Atreyu on shrooms they said their ceiling was liquid, and it was dripping down on them. So I consider the first line to be the starting effects of a hallucinogenic drug. It's the first song on this album I'm writing, and it kind of sums up the concept of the album.

    I also would like to keep the word 'love' in there just because I want people too see that literal love as the subject.. and it flows with the music more.

    But thanks for the suggestions, anyway. :) Did you listen to the song? I think it works out really well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2008
  4. #4
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    I didn't listen to it, dail up is too slow. perhaps another day :)
     

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