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Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Trish, Nov 22, 2003.

  1. #1
    Trish

    Trish Y2K LPA VIP

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    The glass falls to the floor, pieces shattered everywhere.
    I kneel and pick up a piece.
    I hold it in my closed hand, my eyes closed but the tears start to fall.
    I raise my arm and red tears fall as my bare skin meets the glass.
    Pain is all I feel, pain thats now in my heart, was in my head.
    I bleed, bleed, watching the blood, so red, dripping.
    I'm breathing deeply and I'm blinded by tears.
    I drop to the glass and fall to the ground, now i feel nothing.
    I close my eyes and savour my last breath.

    It wasn't written in any order or anything like that because I just wrote it after that happened to me.

    Yeah, so I'm open to critisism!!
     
  2. #2
    Cal

    Cal LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    i hope you dont take any offence to this

    its good, but i think it could be better with more work, but nobodys perfect at our age, if you keep writing lyrics, you will become very talented
     
  3. #3
    Trish

    Trish Y2K LPA VIP

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    Thanks...Like I said, it was written on anger..not really changed from what I wrote at the time...but thanks anyways!
     
  4. #4
    LornVourkolakas

    LornVourkolakas About To Blow Chunks

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    Its really good, but like Mr.Fred says, it could use a little more work. Great job though.
     
  5. #5
    Pa-troll

    Pa-troll Active Member

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    what can I say after so many words were said????? I liked this song very much, it's so real (you know what i wanna say :rolleyes: )
     
  6. #6
    Trish

    Trish Y2K LPA VIP

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    Yes Pa-Troll I don't know what you wanna say...
    So just say it!
     

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