No More Patience

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Omar A, Oct 30, 2003.

  1. #1
    Omar A

    Omar A Beyond Science LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,760
    Likes Received:
    14



    No More Patience

    Verse 1:
    I’ve been running for hours
    And I’m gonna keep on going forever
    Till I reach the edge of the world
    Jump from there and get destroyed
    Cuz from the first day that I was born
    My life’s been nothing but miserable
    And now all I want is for this disease to let me go
    So separate me from my lonely soul

    Chorus:
    Its too late
    No more patience
    I have to separate
    Before I bleed again

    Verse 2:
    I’ve been looking for the highest cliff
    A cliff that’ll end my ####ed up life
    Cuz I’m too tired of living my life like this
    I need to end this pain that’s killing me inside
    Cuz from the day that I lost hope
    My life’s been nothing but an endless road
    And now all I want is to feel love
    So take me away cuz I’ve had enough

    Chorus:
    Its too late
    No more patience
    I have to separate
    Before I bleed again

    Bridge:
    I’m pushing myself away
    But I’m addicted to this life
    But I’ll keep on fighting everyday
    Till I feel I found a light

    Chorus:
    Its too late
    No more patience
    I have to separate
    Before I bleed again
     
  2. #2
    Jamie

    Jamie Super Member LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2003
    Messages:
    3,081
    Likes Received:
    6



    :eek: cool man!
     
  3. #3
    Omar A

    Omar A Beyond Science LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,760
    Likes Received:
    14



    Thanks

    Any more comments?
     
  4. #4
    Methybrea

    Methybrea Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,483
    Likes Received:
    1



    Good song, man! Maybe you can make it a bit longer though! :)
     
  5. #5
    _PianoPaPercut_

    _PianoPaPercut_ Ambient

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    1,423
    Likes Received:
    1



    it's pretty alright.. you're a good writer.. it's just sad.. thats all.. wow.. im in a sad mood now.. anywho.. keep it up dude! ^^
     
  6. #6
    arT saveS

    arT saveS Y2K

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    2,164
    Likes Received:
    0



    It's good, I like it a lot. I give it a 9/10. There are 2 things I don't like..

    1. I'm not into the chorus just because of how short it is.

    2. It's another "Pain on the inside" song. If you take out all the references to killing me inside, then it will be a lot better and more respected. "The Pain Inside' is just to overused. And now suicidal songs are gonna be overused also. Here we go in another circle.
     
  7. #7
    Omar A

    Omar A Beyond Science LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,760
    Likes Received:
    14



    I've changed the song

    and for the chorus, I kinda like writing a short chorus...I don't know why though :mellow:
     
  8. #8
    Andrea

    Andrea best friends. LPA Addicted VIP

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    Messages:
    34,338
    Likes Received:
    332



    Very good work! :)
     
  9. #9
    arT saveS

    arT saveS Y2K

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    2,164
    Likes Received:
    0



    I've changed the song

    and for the chorus, I kinda like writing a short chorus...I don't know why though :mellow: [/b][/quote]
    I still liked it, even if you didn't change it. Everyone has their own writing technique, you shouldn't change it just because people say you should, unless you think you should. But it's still very good! :)
     
  10. #10
    Omar A

    Omar A Beyond Science LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,760
    Likes Received:
    14



    I still liked it, even if you didn't change it. Everyone has their own writing technique, you shouldn't change it just because people say you should, unless you think you should. But it's still very good! :) [/b][/quote]
    no I changed it because your right, I did use alot of the word "pain" in this song and I felt that i needed to change it.
     
  11. #11
    arT saveS

    arT saveS Y2K

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    2,164
    Likes Received:
    0



    no I changed it because your right, I did use alot of the word "pain" in this song and I felt that i needed to change it. [/b][/quote]
    Ok, as long as you also thought you should change it. Sorry, it just bothers me when people do stuff cause others think they should. People should do what feels right to them, and if it doesn't feel right to someone else...well f*ck them. :p
     
  12. #12
    Omar A

    Omar A Beyond Science LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,760
    Likes Received:
    14



    Its ok, I needed someone to tell me to change the song. i wasn't happy with it anyway and you helped me improve it, so thanks :)

    Any more comments?
     

Share This Page