Nightmare's pawn

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Seinfeld, Dec 16, 2007.

  1. #1
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,654
    Likes Received:
    0



    Theme: Angst

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Nightmare's pawn:

    I've been set out in the cold
    as the spawn of your inadequacy
    Neither will nor opinion were left
    to survive your constricting heresy

    I've fought for every breath of air
    and so I consist of no more than scars
    Seared skin and dust inside
    where no-one dares to touch my punctured heart

    Don't hold my hand,
    I know you won't help
    No, don't hold my hand,
    You know how I felt

    ...
    know how I felt,
    know how I felt
    all alone in hell

    I've felt you reaching out to me,
    as I've skipped heartbeats through the perilous dark
    You cried of rabies and rage,
    and so you have driven us both further apart

    Don't hold my hand,
    I know you won't help
    No, don't hold my hand,
    You know how I felt

    ...
    know how I felt,
    know how I felt
    all alone in hell

    Don't hold my hand
    You've brought this hell
    Don't hold my hand
    You've brought me hell
     
  2. #2
    Red Union

    Red Union Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2007
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    0



    I liked it
     
  3. #3
    aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2005
    Messages:
    7,452
    Likes Received:
    0



    It's slightly emo, but it's nice :)
     
  4. #4
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,562
    Likes Received:
    313



    Reminds me of a mordren like poe. :)
     
  5. #5
    Jordan

    Jordan Secret Robot

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2007
    Messages:
    2,657
    Likes Received:
    0



    It's kinda funny how you wrote 'Theme: Angst' at the start, were you thinking it was like your older pieces when you wrote that? Anyways i thought it was pretty good, it definately conveyed the emotions set in the piece.
     
  6. #6
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,654
    Likes Received:
    0



    Yeah...I kinda felt it was similar to my older style, when I read it. It's thought out better than my older poems and the wording flows better, but still.

    Also, thank you :)

    @Ataka: Define emo. (just wondering what you mean...^_^)
     

Share This Page