hi all out there! i have been reading this forum for a couple of weeks now and i am very impressed with the songs/poems that have been written. i have just started writting short songs and i didn't realise how hard it was. i am more used to writting short stories. i have written one and i would love to hear if anyone things it's any good. here goes! i feel like a caged animal that needs to break free you tell the lies that are killing me i need to run away and get out of this hell but you won't let me cause you tell me your heart melt why do you do this, does my life not matter? you make yourself look big like your some kid of martyr but you can't be like that cause your manipulating me bullying me making me hurt inside i know this is probaby crap but some tips would be nice!
thanks! i really wasn't sure if it was utter crap cause i have never showed anyone any of my writings. this has given me some confidence to keep at it! thanks again!
Great. I's nice to have a new face around. Welcome. And make sure you read the foum rules in the newbie camp. I liked the poem, short but good. Just rembeber poems dont have to rhyme. Sometimes if you ry to rhyme to hard it takes away from the meaning. Keep trying Terrific start.
well, not bad at all! good work, though it seemed to me like you were expressing just a tiny part of what you wanted to say. (i also know our hand could hardly express entirely what's inside our minds and hearts) I get your point, and i believe this is a very good starting. just keep working and you'll be high up. You know we're all here to help you at any time if you need some help. i' glad you decided to post here. Hope to see you around !!!
This is crap,totally crap,you are thinking I am telling this to your poem nah,its to the thing that u have written at the end,I wanna tell you everybody is talented here,so why under estimate yourself,you are talented especially asince this is the first attempt at poetry,it rocks,keep writing,and stop saying ur stuff is crap ,and yeah poetry is tough,but once you are in the grove of writing,believe me you can write a poem when you touch the pen on paper.so all the best for your new found love(poetry),hope to see more of ur stuff.
thanks all so much for all the possitive feedback and i will keep on at it! also i do think that i am trying to rhyme too much and maybe i will try more of a free flow and see how i go. i have so many ideas buzzing around!
well, you do are trying a little bit hard to rhyme and it used to happen a lot to me, but that can be fixed. its a good start though. dont worry, you we all still have lots to learn & write, so enjoy each single thing you learn here. by the way, i would be glad to hear you posted your commentary on some of my stuff!!