If you couldn’t see how much I needed the urgency, I would not have made it such an emergency. I have been pushed to the breaking point, Me, myself and I are like the knee at the leg joint. Been broken, and held together for too long, Hearing this, is just another unsoothing emotional song. To hear this heart beat, is another way of saying sorry, To hear this concern, is another way of someone to worry. About how hard I needed, to convince for me to try, To see this heart, seep out another long cry. Is another sorry face among the people, To walk down, below and above the ringing bells of the steeple. Held together with needle and to be sewn together, To hold this cry in, to let it cry for help, I will never ever. I can hold these tears in as long as you know it, To carry my corpse along, and dump it in the pit. I am only a lonely corpse, with a bleeding heart, To love someone, to lose them, it’s hard to spend time apart. From life to death, some one once said to me, “It isn’t easy, and it’s okay to flee”.
Not bad. At a few points the commas seemed unneccassary and just disrupted to flor of the poem. A few lines sounde dlike forced rhymes (i.e. the first one). Aso, I don't believe unsoothing is a word, lol. I am only a lonely corpse, with a bleeding heart, To love someone, to lose them, it’s hard to spend time apart. From life to death, some one once said to me, “It isn’t easy, and it’s okay to flee”. I liked that section, it comes across well. Lastly, and this may just be opinion, but I think you used the word "heart" a bit too much.