My 10 Wishes.

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Muri, Apr 15, 2005.

  1. #1
    Muri

    Muri It never ends.

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    This is what you put me trough,
    and now I wish,
    the same upon you.

    I wish you would feel pain,
    without no one touching you.
    Wish you would cry,
    without soaking your cheeks.
    Wish you would scream,
    and no one would hear you.
    Wish you would break,
    and no one would know.

    I wish you would live,
    but would have no life.
    Wish you would feel angst,
    without letting it out.
    Wish you would bleed,
    without bleeding to death.
    Wish you would know,
    but be still misunderstood.
    Wish you would be,
    and no one would notice.

    And finally I wish,
    that these wishes,
    would burn you alive,
    play with your mind,
    drive you insane,
    and drown you within.
    So you would know,
    the weight of my wishes.

    Yeah, I know,that the constant repeating is sucky but I can't stop writing. :unsure:
     
  2. #2
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    ok i would not like to get on the bad side of you! ;)

    but back to the poem, good but i guess it could be worked on alittle.
     
  3. #3
    MeLiS_

    MeLiS_ Well-Known Member

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    whoa, myobsession, another one.. ^_^ :p

    that's nice, good job!! :lol:
     
  4. #4
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    Wow, I believe this kinda means: "i want you to feel the way I do" (or the way i once felt), but anyway, you could work a little more on it. Just a little bit here and a little bit there and you'll get a really good piece of work. This is great! I believe every day you just keep getting better from what I've seen. But please!!!!! :
    don't you think your writing sucks, cuz it doesn't. I strongly recommend to listen to advises and to use just the ones you think may help. As long as you feel comfortable with your poem and you say what you want to say, its ok. Please don't you ever let any one put you down or make you feel insignificant because their nut brain doesn't allow them to think properly :lol: but i believe we are all civilized folks here in the writers cove to prevent that form happening. keep it up, and never stop because of others. please keep writing!!!
     
  5. #5
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Nice job .
     

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