Mindless games.

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Arhaz, Aug 23, 2005.

  1. #1
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    Mindless games.

    Childless is the hope that I pray to contain,
    Hopeless is the strength hidden in me, refrained,
    Weak are the signs of bravery I’ve never gained,
    A coward am I, my soul in your name.

    Tears roll on as the endless ages pass by,
    Moments cease to exist as I perform every lie,
    Living incomplete, and fearful inside,
    Complete is the guilt, enough for me to die.

    Touched by the breeze that crawls in through the door,
    The torrents of your hate fail me to the floor,
    The victory of defeat eats my mind once more,
    I’m submitting to this mechanical game, just like before.

    Every day brings more than yesterday, when it begins,
    I’m crouching in scarcity; I’m growing so thin,
    Dense and gruesome are your torturous ways within,
    I’m losing again, once more, you win.





    this is a new format, and i need your comments on it, please! ^_^
     
  2. #2
    ShatterGlass

    ShatterGlass Well-Known Member

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    Wow! Thats pretty good! 9/10 :chemist:
     
  3. #3
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Pretty cool,I like it B)
     
  4. #4
    a life in ashes

    a life in ashes mercury summer

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    nice new format, it works well...i like it.
     
  5. #5
    notneo

    notneo Well-Known Member

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    Love the combination of writing .
     
  6. #6
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    thanks a lot guys...much appreciated. ^_^
     
  7. #7
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    4 lines that all rhyme could be catastrophic, especially when the rhyming becomes forced, but you pulled it off supurbly. Awsome poem.
     
  8. #8
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    thanks ;)
     

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