Married men and porn...

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Andrea, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. #1
    Andrea

    Andrea best friends. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Say you are in your 50's and in a sexless marriage. Do you think it's right that a married man looks at porn sites? Does this qualify as cheating or being unfaithful? Should a woman confront her husband about this or just let it go?

    I'm asking these questions because I need some insight on the subject. I was having a discussion about this today and I would like to see what you all think. Thoughts? Opinions? Answers?

    Discuss.
     
  2. #2
    The Emptiness Machine

    The Emptiness Machine Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    My thoughts are complicated. What do you consider porn? a erotic novel? softcore? I'm not sure how I would classify it really. I've read erotic novels and I myself wouldn't consider that as cheating.
     
  3. #3
    Andrea

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    Porn, like, porn websites. The ones where you view videos for free. No novels or anything.
     
  4. #4
    The Emptiness Machine

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    isn't a very erotic novel that goes full on with very descriptive sex considered a type of porn or maybe adult material? I mean doesn't it imply the same intent? and what about graphic novels? I think it's hard to say. Because you can read a book to get away from reality and take part in a fantasy as you might do if you were watching a porn video and maybe some would call that cheating if you're imagining the girl in the story and not your wife.
     
  5. #5
    Andrea

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    Hmmm yeah, true, lol.

    Ugh, I don't know then. I just really need opinions regarding married men vs. porn websites. I don't really know what to say about novels.
     
  6. #6
    Dedicated

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    In my opinion it's not cheating. As for if it should be brought up, I think if the porn is what's making the marriage sexless then it should be brought up. If the porn is being watched because the marriage is sexless then that's a different kettle of fish.
     
  7. #7
    Christopher

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    Seconded.
     
  8. #8
    Messy Marj

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    Thirded.

    I don't see it as cheating either. I have never met someone who's lusting after the girl/guy in the video, it's always the actions they do that makes you horny. But yeah, if the marriage is sexless because of the porn watching then she should probably confront her husband about it.
     
  9. #9
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    I don't see it as cheating. A couple should probably set their own limits on what is and isn't cheating though. None of the girls I have been with had an issue with it, but we weren't together for that long either. I also do not think married men should be singled out, what about married women? Surely the same ruled apply. What if you just fantasize about someone else? Same intent as any pornography really.

    If porn you continually choose porn over your partner, there is a problem. Otherwise, I don't see it as one. It is of course up to individual couples to decide.
     
  10. #10
    Will

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    It's not cheating at all.
     
  11. #11
    Chris.

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    I agree with everything that's been said so far. I think if you are in a sexless marriage and neither side seems to be pushing for it, looking at porn is a much healthier way to go about getting it rather than going out and finding someone willing to have sex with you.
     
  12. #12
    Chris Tucker

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    Who knows what you'll find out there :lol:
     
  13. #13
    Andrea

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    Hmmm...you bring up a good point. I'll remember this when I see the woman I was talking to again.
     
  14. #14
    Casual D

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    While not cheating, I do think it is disrespectful to his wife. I think if they are looking at a sexless marriage, they should assess why that is taking place and address it because usually lack of sex is also a sign of other underlying issues. His wife should be enough for him and he shouldn't need to look at younger women naked to get his fix.

    If anything, the only time it'd be acceptable is when the couple are looking for ways to spice up their sex life, which in that case they should watch it together. Not behind his wife's back, as if they are not sexual anymore they probably have a lot bigger problems than just sex.
     
  15. #15
    Luke

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    I don't think it's cheating and I don't think it's disrespectful. Guys will always watch porn and be fascinated by other women. I can't explain it but it's just how we are. It only becomes a problem if the guy is looking at too much porn or follows through with his fascination of other women.
     
  16. #16
    $pvcxGhxztCasey

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    it's just sex. i never understood why people got so worked up about these sorts of things.
     
  17. #17
    Andrea

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    Because it is a big deal, especially if you are married. Unless you have a very open marriage.
     
  18. #18
    $pvcxGhxztCasey

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    yeah, but... it's just a married guy, looking at porn. big deal. it's not like once you get married, your penis loses all function. guys get horny at just about anything. we could be on a train and the vibration and rocking would be just good enough that it'd happen (stolen from bill hicks).

    not a big deal, in my mind.
     
  19. #19
    Andrea

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    I get what you are saying. I'm just trying to put myself in this woman's shoes.
     
  20. #20
    Harlz

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    Word.
     

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