This story (along with many others) have been written by my cousin and I at that point when youre tired and everythings funny. I hope you find this one funny. Keep in mind that this is totally random and makes little to no sense. Maple Leaves Have Nothing To Do With This Story One summer day in Frankfurt, Hawaii, there was a 37 year-old man names Sunkerdic Smiff. He was a happy man, with two eyes that wouldn't come uncrossed. He was fishing for zebras when aliens with eggbeaters abducted him. When on their peanut-shaped coconut, Sunkerdic was probed with 5 strips of bacon, and a side of eggs for protein. Next thing you know, John Tesh was waxing his neck with picture frames and beavers. When the youngest of the aliens ate his shins, all were relieved (on themselves). Meanwhile on Earth, highway reflectors were being stolen in protest of bad cheese. Wood. Suddenly, a pig was....oh look a kitty. A herniated gopher was the next victim. But little did the aliens know that the gopher was not a gopher, but a cheese grater. Possessed tulips soon began to crave the sweet, sweet taste of cheese. Within minutes, silver Russians drowned themselves, but that's a different story. Disgruntled firemen began drilling holes into the peanut-shaped coconut in an attempt to have milk with their cookies. The milk is their gas source, so the ship went down and broked. Emergency maneuvers were quietly forming amonst the aliens, as tension rose. A war was near, or something. Earthlings gathered weaponry as the aliens ate stuff. Finally, Marty-Lou got frustrated and tore this story in half, ending his book report. So the moral of the story obviously is: Maple Leaves Have Nothing To Do With This Story.
If you've ever played Max Payne (the first), this reminds me of the part when a drugged max wakes up in a room that's on fire, and someone calls him talking about necromancers etc, speaking gibberish that doesnt link together in any shape or form. Funny stuff.