Lyric, poem? Something? xD

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Liz, Sep 1, 2012.

  1. #1
    Liz

    Liz ChainsawLiz LPA VIP

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    Okay.. So this is some random text I just wrote. Not sure what it is.. It just sort of came to me. I wrote in it Swedish though, did my best to translate it without destroying it. Not sure how well I did but eh x) (Be considerate of grammar faults, though a few of them are supposed to be there.. lyrics/poems often doesn't make sense grammar wise xD haha) It's a lot better in Swedish IMO..

    Sitting here in the dark
    A gloomy autumn day
    Thinking about life
    What are we meant to do?
    Is there something or someone for us all?
    Or are we to spend our days alone
    Surrounded by people, that pass us by
    Rushing through errands, that doesn’t really matter
    Are we to stay shadows of our past?
    Or shall we shine through the dark wall
    That conceal our life?

    I'll post the original as well if there are any Swedes here that happens to pass by and want to see the real one x)

    Sitter här ensam i mörkret
    En ruggig höstdag
    Tänker på livet
    Vad är vi menat att göra?
    Finns det något eller någon för oss alla?
    Eller ska vi spendera våra dagar ensamma
    Omgiven av människor som rusar förbi
    I brådskande ärenden som egentligen inte har någon betydelse
    Ska vi förbli skuggor av vårt förflutna?
    Eller ska vi skina igenom den dunkla vägg
    Som skymmer våra liv
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2012
  2. #2
    The Emptiness Machine

    The Emptiness Machine Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Not bad. It's like a stream of consciousness.

    I don't really know Swedish so I have no idea if it's a good poem from a technical stand point such as meter, rhythm and rhyme, so of course I can't really give any advice or criticism on best or weak lines.

    However in English, I kind of like it.
     
  3. #3
    Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    Yeah its pretty good. I enjoyed it, I wish I could speak Swedish.
     
  4. #4
    Melis

    Melis when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory LPA Super Member

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    Wow, Lizzie! That is really good. It is very interesting! :)
     
  5. #5
    Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    I like this. I had something like this run through my head the other day.

    Well written. Not sure about how it'd be in Swedish, but the translated version is awesome :)
     

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