LPA Investigates: Where Is Rob Bourdon?

Discussion in 'News' started by Derek, Apr 1, 2024.

  1. #1

    Derek LPAssociation.com Administrator LPA Administrator

    Jul 13, 2002
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    Hello, and welcome to LPA Investigates. Today we delve into the baffling case of Rob Bourdon, the esteemed drummer of the iconic band, Linkin Park. Since his last public appearance in 2020 to promote the Hybrid Theory 20 boxset, Bourdon has been conspicuously absent from interviews or promotional features, leaving fans scratching their heads.

    Websites such as LinkinPedia have requested information regarding his whereabouts and even Mike Shinoda himself has expressed doubts as to Bourdon’s location. As fans continue to pour over leads and evidence, theories abound regarding Bourdon's whereabouts. Some speculate that he embarked on a solitary journey, seeking solace in the depths of nature, while others suggest more creepier possibilities, including alien abduction.

    The disappearance of someone of Rob Bourdon's stature is certainly unprecedented. In our quest to discover the whereabouts of Bourdon, LPA explored all avenues, from the plausible to the far-fetched. Even Robert Stack, himself resurrected from the dead, had no earthly idea on where Bourdon is.

    Our investigative journey into the disappearance of Rob Bourdon took us to unexpected places, but none more peculiar than a remote spiritual commune nestled in the desert. And what we found there may shock you.

    Here, amidst the sand dunes and cacti, we uncovered a truly bizarre revelation: Rob Bourdon has been living his life as a toaster.

    Gobsmacked by our discovery, we tried our best to make sense of this development. But what astonished us more is the reaction of the commune's residents. Rather than fear the musician turned toaster, they've embraced Bourdon's transformation as a divine occurrence.

    “When I first saw Rob, er, the Holy Toaster, I knew it was a sign from the universe. He's here to guide us to enlightenment, one perfectly toasted slice at a time." - Commune Member 1

    "We've started a new religion around the Holy Toaster. We call it 'Crispianity.' - Commune Member 2

    Yes, you heard that right, Crispianity. Followers of this peculiar faith believe that Bourdon's metamorphosis into a toaster holds profound spiritual significance, and they gather daily to pay homage to their newfound deity.

    As we spent the day among the Crispians, we left this visit to the desert feeling more confused than ever before. Despite our lingering questions, one thing became abundantly clear: Rob makes one hell of a buttered toast.

    After our journey we reached out to Mike Shinoda who emailed back the following response. "Crazy. This makes a lot of sense. I've never seen a toaster and Rob Bourdon in the room at the same time. -m"

    And in an unexpected turn of events, Rob Bourdon himself, or should we say, the Holy Toaster, has agreed to grant us his first interview in many years. Despite his initial reluctance, Bourdon, in his toaster form, has decided to break his silence and shed light on the mysteries surrounding his transformation.

    Watch our exclusive interview here!

    Thank you for tuning in and may your bread always be perfectly toasted. Goodnight.
  2. #2

    Michele Praise Brad Delson, our Lord and Savior. LPA Addict

    Apr 29, 2014
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    Oh finally :lol:

    I know the activity here isnt what it used to be but still i always loved the April Fools posts. Always peak creativity!
    dutchsoldier likes this.
  3. #3

    dutchsoldier Well-Known Member

    May 18, 2009
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    During the interview you can see it's Rob. I have never seen toast popping up so rhytmically. That are some next level hosti's right there.

    Nice one! Made me laugh!
    Michele likes this.
  4. #4

    Elaine The One They Call Elaine. LPA VIP

    Feb 21, 2012
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    A toast to a real one.
    Michele likes this.
  5. #5

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

    Apr 27, 2007
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    He supplies the heat but he don't supply the bread.

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