I recently wrote this one. Tell me what you think of it. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Song Title: Lost [From the Inside] Artist: [Brkng Th H@bt] I'm tired of having to feel this way The same thoughts, the same pains everyday. Will it stop? Will it not? Will it stay the same? Will it change who I am? Does it decide if I'm sane? I don't know, I can't tell, I'm just so lost I can't see anything, within this deep frost Of excruciating depression coming from the inside Right before my eyes, coming right from the lies. Numbness approaches, every minute it's there Turning what's fine into what is not fair It's like a change of heart, it's what makes things fall apart Turning what is easy into everything that is hard Blinded by the darkness, as if it was light I know now that I'll never be alright Sudden change, rearranged, made from all the lies Confusing what is real, all from the inside. I've become so lost [Everything's unfair] I can't open my eyes [It's like I'm not even there] Everything has changed [And it's falling apart] All from the inside [With a sudden change of heart] I sit in a chair, and I stare at the wall Thinking about those times that it was me who would fall I stare at the glass as the time passes I've wasted all this time trying to get past this Stuck in place, with no where to turn I guess I'll never know, but I know I'll never learn Yesterday's tomorrow, all the days are the same Now there are no games, there's nothing to claim I think of the times I fought with you It was something I never wanted to do Still, I remain the same, with the same pains No one can tell, if I'm fine or insane. I think of the times you lied to me How you misplaced everything consciously I know all this builds up from all the lies Confusing what is real, all from the inside Chorus And now I'm lost inside these thoughts of you From the inside it's what I wanted to do You threw everything at me, including all your lies Little did I know it was from the inside (2x*) Chorus (2x) I've become so lost. [Confusing what is real, all from the inside] (2x) *1st time you whisper, second time you say it out loud. Second time, scream the last letter of each phrase ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, what do you think of it? Opinions? Suggestions? EDIT: Fixed the apostrophe problem
to broken fist: your sig makes my eyes spin for some reason... i like it, except change the little signs you put in instead of swearwords to sings of one kind... what i mean by this is: this ######## instead of this !@#$%^ the second one makes the poem harder to read. for me, at least.
to broken fist: your sig makes my eyes spin for some reason... i like it, except change the little signs you put in instead of swearwords to sings of one kind... what i mean by this is: this ######## instead of this !@#$%^ the second one makes the poem harder to read. for me, at least. [/b][/quote] Its not censoring...thats just something wrong with the quotation marks.