Thankfully, it was an employee that discovered the scene from what I understand..at least according to reports (all speculation). I couldn't imagine a band member walking in on that...their best friend. God my heart is aching.
I just wish I could give Talinda, the band and his children the biggest hugs right now. I'm hurting beyond words as someone who idolized him and felt he was like a brother. I can't imagine the pain of his actual family, and people who were around him daily.
Ah, I see. That still would be awful to bear. I can't imagine walking up to something like that. My best friend died in a hiking accident 5 years ago, there were 4 people hiking. 2 died. My other best friend who is still alive witnessed both of them die with his own two eyes. I know I had it bad but I know that I have never felt as much pain as he did that die when he had to stand there and watching it all happen. I feel sorry for the employee, I feel sorry for Joe, and I feel sorry for the rest of his band, all his friends and family.
I still cannot comprehend that this has happened. Like fuck, this cannot be happening. I'm sitting here in my car listening to Minutes to Midnight, and just... fuck. Given Up, Leave Out All The Rest, Shadow of the Day.... it's all been put into perspective now. I can't listen to these songs the same way anymore. It just brings me tears. This hurts. It's like a part of me has been ripped away. Like most here, I've grown up with this band. I remember like it was yesterday, the first moments I heard In The End and Numb in high school. Until that point, I had not connected with music like that ever before. Their music then became an obsession. They were the first band I truly 'followed'. Every album release was like an event. I have never anticipated an album release by any other band the way I did with Linkin Park. And reading back that paragraph has just given me a sinking feeling like no other. The fact that I'm referring to Linkin Park in past tense. That's it's all over. This is how it ends. I don't want to believe it and I never thought this day would come, but it's over. Linkin Park without Chester will never be Linkin Park. You just think that your heroes are immortal. You just take it for granted that they'll always be around. But this puts things into perspective. Just cherish every moment. What also just really hit me hard now was the realisation that I'll never get to see Linkin Park live again. I was lucky enough to see them twice during the A Thousands Suns and Living Things album cycles, two of the most memorable gigs I've ever seen. But my heart breaks for those that never even got the chance. My heart breaks for Talinda and his 6 kids that he has left behind, his family, friends, his fans and of course his band mates. I cannot fathom what they must be going through right now. I simply can't. R.I.P Chester. Gone but defintely not forgotten. Your memory will remain through your songs. You had a wonderful gift, you were a one of a kind talent. Thank you for sharing it with the world.
I've had so many friends asking if I'm okay since this happened, and I appreciate that. I'm okay, but I'm just horribly confused right now. Chester always stood out to me as the guy who successfully overcame his demons, and his troubled childhood/teenage years. An star that burned bright and a stunning example of a man who could face impossible odds, and terrible circumstances and somehow manage to come out on top and win his battles, no matter how terrible things would get. It's a large part of why he was able to save so many lives. Because through sharing his pain with us, we were able to celebrate his 'victories' and think to ourselves: if he could make it through, so can we. But seeing that his demons never truly got conquered but only buried is something that continues to hurt me. I have credited this man with saving my life. With writing music that profoundly affected me and saved me as a person. Many people have said 'I'm still here because of Linkin Park', and it's true. It just hurts to see that my hero put his heart on his sleeve to save us all, but never actually saved himself. I would've accepted a canceled tour. A hiatus. A break from the limelight...anything Chester needed to get his life back on track and finally find the help he needed. Anything but this.
Linkin Park will always be the band of my life. I will follow them forever! I hope you do not give up on the band!
I do pretty well until I see somebody post a comment like "fuck the tour/music/albums just give me Chester back!" or seeing Joe's Instagram picture. I could give two fucks about ever getting new music from them. After 17 years, I figured every new release was a bonus. I just want this man back with his family, where he belongs, and getting the help he needs. Fuck ever getting new LP music, I felt like I really knew this man. He felt like family. How many times did I watch Making of Meteora? Or stupid interviews dating back to the early 2000's? I've spent a majority of my life understanding this man, and it hurts like hell. I literally told my wife last night the same thing Derek said above: I want nothing more than to give Talinda, her children, and those five men in Linkin Park fucking bear hugs. This is so much bigger than music (which I don't think they should EVER do under the name Linkin Park again), I just wish that this beautiful soul didn't end this way...he didn't have to...and that's the part that hurts like a bitch.
Thank you Chester for helping me with some of the hardest moments of my life. When I lost my 6 month old daughter, "Shadow of the Day" helped bring me back from a very dark place. I only wish I could have somehow helped you in your time of need. I hope you have found the peace you wanted. God bless. P. S. I'm so thankful that I was able to see you in concert on August 19th, 2012. Thank you to you and the rest of Linkin Park for an amazing show!
Absolutely tragic. He's crying out for help here and the interviewer has no fucking clue. I can't help but wonder if he weren't alone with his mind that night (being Chris Cornell's birthday and all) if things would have gone differently. I'm sure his family is wondering the same. Or whether the backlash to One More Light gave him even the slightest push in that direction. I've trashed the album myself from time to time (particularly pre-release) and can't bear to think I, and the rest of his fans, somehow played a role.
Can't imagine such a thing happening to myself. That would be so devastating. I hope we'll get to know some more details eventually, even though I have to acknowledge these facts may just be too private. It's nice to see how people care. I wonder if his mates and his family knew about his inner situation. I'm afraid many didn't really... I also thought the same about Chester's demons, and I've read from many more on the internet they also thought his lyrics would be about the past ... but they were more relevant than most of us thought. I thought about this idea that Chester might have somehow "planned" all this after OML. It would kind of fit to the weird sentiment - which at least I had - that OML would be some kind of bigger turning point for LP, one way or another. But I'm not really convinced it's true, because it all seems to be related to his friend Chris, who died well after the album was done. Maybe this was kind of the final straw. Regardless of what he may have thought or not, it all fits so hurtingly well now, it's insane. Nobody Can Save Me is unlistenable now. And most other songs from OML speak differently now, as well. For me, OML feels like a personal farewell from Chester now. I feel kind of guilty about how I treated the album. It was so personal, and I felt that. But I failed to realize that Chester still faced these problems. It must be so much more harder for his band mates than for me, though. Just put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Those guys wrote the freaking lyrics with Chester, which now speak directly into his death. The writing process was personal, but I'm pretty sure nobody of them realized how bad Chester actually felt inside. I wouldn't be able to listen to the album now, as a mate of Chester. -- I also can't stop thinking about whether it was some kind of knee-jerk reaction, which was caused by only a few little, avoidable things. Or if he planned it or it was just a slow, hidden process in the last times... Whether maybe a family member or friend, who would have visited him during the birthday of the dead friend, could have carried him through. I feel like it all could easily have went by in a far different way... on the other hand, we don't really know how often he already stood at the edge. We can only guess, that he did often enough, like his songs tell...
He has always been open about his issues, but I think this might be the closest we ever get to an answer of "why?" at least in terms of how he was feeling collectively/most recently. Every lyric in every song; was the result of him winning a particular battle for that particular moment from which he drew inspiration for the lyric's creation.
I don't think the negative backlash to One More Light lead to this. He loved the music he made and I feel this entire thing runs deeper than what people thought about his art.
Thank you and Derek for reaching out. There has been only one time I've considered suicide, and got as far as planning it 9 years ago. Since then, I have not had thoughts of self harm and have been mostly free of substance abuse. It's a tough road, but I think I'm one of the luckier ones that I can at least function somewhat and hold a job. Regardless, Chester's passing really rattled me, and I thought about my life possibly ending the the same way if I did not come to grips with my head. To that end, I called and scheduled a talk session with a therapist today. This is the first time I'll be going to a doctor for it, and I don't know if it will help, but I feel I need to do it now. Again, thanks for responding.
I keep thinking to myself that if someone was just with him on Chris' birthday he would be alright and Alice right now. You could tell how hard Chris Cornell's death hurt him and I just wish someone close to him would have known or if they did know that it was Chris'a birthday that they would have offered to stay with him. Maybe someone did, we really don't know but I fully believe he's alive today if A) It wasn't Chris's birthday yesterday or B) Someone was with him
I am so proud of you and I know Chester is too. It's not easy to admit you need help, and I applaud your strength in seeking it.
Just want to thank everyone here, reading all these posts is really a comfort to know that I'm not alone and other people feel the same way as I'm feeling about all of this right now.