Letter to You

This topic is extremely personal to me. For some reason i felt like writing on it. Writing it hurt. A lot. I rarely speak about this topic at all (I can probably count on 1 hand people who know this part of me, and I'm generally an open person). This was and still is the most life-altering event in my life.

I wrote this in a depressive mood on my phone while weaving through traffic. I don't know if how I really feel is accurately portrayed here or if the emotion can be felt through the words, but here goes.

——

hello my friend,

it has been nine years
they went so slow, so fast.
how long since i saw your face?
since i heard you laugh?

not a day goes by in my mind
without a thought of you.
who are you now, who would you be?
i haven’t got a clue.

i tried to move on, let it pass.
i thought i could leave.
but my mind always wanders
to that christmas eve.

we were young and innocent.
just beginning to start our lives.
my world was shattered, fell apart
when i heard you had died.

i say that i miss you,
but you don’t even know.
you died in the winter,
so now i hate the snow.

the memories are frozen
like icicles in my soul.
i always wear jackets now
to shield me from the cold.

she’s with jesus now, they said.
i’d just smile and nod.
but since he took you away,
i lost all faith in god.

you were more than a friend to me.
the years, to me, were rough.
my heart was born, then it died.
i’ve forgotten how to love.

i wish you were here with us.
i wish it down to my core.
not only to see you again but
i don’t want to hurt anymore.

there are no words to express
what i feel inside
but there’s no greater hurt to me
than writing this goodbye.

goodbye my friend,
so long.
they took you away too soon.
i’ll never forget your memory.

i miss you, stephanie yun.

 

I really like this, it was well written and conveys the sadness you feel over her loss.

 

It's very good, and it's very sad.

"the memories are frozen
like icicles in my soul.
i always wear jackets now
to shield me from the cold"


My favorite stanza

 

Thank you for your kind words. I tend to think of that day as the beginning of the end for me. I kind of just gave up on most things since then. Nine long years...

 

It's really good. I enjoyed reading it, as sad as it may be.

 

thanks. I rarely write on personal topics like this, so it's a relief to hear good things about my prowess in new territory.