ok, since the last version wasn't my best work ever, i have rewritten this one...so here goes... leaving me behind you left me here to bleed all alone see the puddle of blood on the floor the emotions i have for you are now gone they haven rottened me all the way to the core you just got up and left me here to lie on this cold hard ground you left me here so you could go and die and of you went without a sound you went all alone without me, i feel so fucking cheated we were ment to go together but you went without telling me we were supposed to go together away into the next life but off you went so no longer the pain inside me you'll see why couldn't we go together like we both planned god, how could you leave me here in all this pain i just don't understand how you could do this to me i'm left here all alone, bleeding all this hurt in vain ok, lets have it. was it better, worse or just the same!
Well honestly I remember very little about the older version since it was posted days ago(or weeks ago),but I did remember a few lines of the older version as I was reading this version and I felt that I didnt find a vast difference between this and the older one(sorry this is what I felt and I maybe wrong),but I somehwo feel that you cant blame God for the pain anybody goes through,if you are blaming God for the pain you go through,you should blame yourself for blaming God,cause its testing times for you(or anyone concerned) when you are in pain,anyways I hope I havent said anything wrong.
don't worry cause all comments are welcome. but i have actually realised that i say god alot but i actually don't mean god directly. where i come from (no not another planet!) we all tend to say oh god as an exclamation, like saying oh shit or something. so thanks for pointing that out. i will have to be alittle more slective with my words in future.
BETTER Great job i think this one is much better. still not your best poem though, i don't feel as much power, good job though this is much better than the last.
thanks for all the comments! i am currently working on a few more powerful ones, more emotional anyway. watch this space!