Jokes

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by Burningsoul, Dec 2, 2004.

  1. #1
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    I thought this would be a good idea, if someone was feelin down they could read the jokes and hopefully cheer up, dunno if its been done before.

    Ill start of with a corny one
    A man walks into a bar...... thats gonna hurt :p
     
  2. #2
    Neil

    Neil Super Duper Member LPA Super Member

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    What's brown and sticky?............




    A stick.



    :lol: I rock
     
  3. #3
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    jus as bad as mine, but i laughed anyway

    what is white and blue and could kill you if it fell out of a tree

    a fridge in a denim jacket :D :D :D
     
  4. #4
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Why did the mushroom go to the party?









    Because he's a fun guy...





    :lol:



    EDIT:

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back when you throw it?







    A stick :p
     
  5. #5
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    A man walks into a pub and asks for a pint and a pie, he drinks the pint and puts the pie on his head and walks out
    The next day the same man walks into a pub and asks for a pint and a pie, he drinks the pint and puts the pie on his head and walks out
    The next day the same man walks into a pub and asks for a pint and a pie, he drinks the pint and puts the pie on his head and walks out
    The next day the same man walks into a pub and asks for a pint and a pie, he drinks the pint and puts the pie on his head and walks out
    The next day the man asks for a pint and a pie, the bartender says sorry we are outta pies but we have got crisps, so he drinks the pint and puts the crisps on his head, as he is walkin out a man who has been watchin him for the last few days approaches him and says ''why are you putting crisps on ya head'' the man replies ''cus they are outta pies''

    Crap but funny when you dont know what to expect :p
     
  6. #6
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    Ok so my last one sucked so ill go back 2 corny ones

    Why didnt the skeleton go to the ball... it had no BODY to go with

    Any more jokes
     
  7. #7
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    Why does Snoop Dog have an umbrella?



    Fo Drizzle!



    I kinda found that funny. :lol:
     
  8. #8
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    :lol: yeah thats good, any more
     
  9. #9
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    Yo' Momma's so dumb she once put a battery up her ass and went "I got the powa!"

    Yeah.. that's also one of my lame favorites lol. ^_^
     
  10. #10
    Mechanical Christ

    Mechanical Christ Ein heißer Schrei LPA Super Member

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    Yo momma's so fat if she wears yellow and walks on the street people yell "TAXI!" at her.

    I heard one SOMEWHERE. :lol:
     
  11. #11
    Kate

    Kate beat me senseless LPA Super Member

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    A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. When it comes, he takes one sip and starts screaming, "I'm a teepee! No, I'm a wigwam! No, I'm a teepee! No, I'm a wigwam! No, I'm a teepee!"

    The bartender looks up and says, "Relax, man. You're two tents!"



    And another one--

    How do you ask a deaf person if they want to buy a chicken?



    ..........




    "HEY, YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN?"
     
  12. #12
    Mechanical Christ

    Mechanical Christ Ein heißer Schrei LPA Super Member

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    :lol: !


    I didn't get the teepee one :mellow:
     
  13. #13
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    :lol: !


    I didn't get the teepee one :mellow: [/b][/quote]
    ;) neither did i but its all good anyway

    knock knock
    Whos there
    Ach
    Ach who
    Bless you :p :p :p

    I like that one
    Anymore
     
  14. #14
    Jamie

    Jamie Super Member LPA Super Member

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    How do you keep a blond amused?





    Write 'Please Turn Over' on a piece of paper
     
  15. #15
    Chris

    Chris LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    THATS MINE! :eek: :cry:



    you're moms so fat that when she jumps in the atlantic ocean, the Titanic comes to the surface

    you're moms so fat she needs her own zipcode

    :lol:
     
  16. #16
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    lol i like that one but i doubt the blondes readin this will.

    3 pregnant women are talkin to a doctor askin what they will have
    The first women is talkin and the doctor says what position were you in when you had sex, the women replies he was on top, the doctor says you ''you will have a boy''
    The second women is asked the same question, i was on top she replies, the doctor says ''you will have a girl''
    The third women starts to cry, whats up asks the doctor... the women replies im goin to have a dog :p
     
  17. #17
    NofxPants

    NofxPants Does your house have stairs?

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    Why did Micheal Jackson phone Boyz 2 Men?



    He thought they were a delivery service!!!


    AND...


    A conversation between a blind kid and his Deaf father...

    Son: daddy, i'm BLIND!

    Father: WHAT?
     
  18. #18
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    I like the michael jackson one :D :D :D
     
  19. #19
    Burningsoul

    Burningsoul Well-Known Member

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    A red man is in the shower when some one knocks at the door, so he quickly puts a towel round himself and answers the door, as he does the towel drops and the women at the door screams, runs onto the road and gets knocked down.

    The moral... dont run across the road when the red man is flashin
     
  20. #20
    FreeYourMind

    FreeYourMind Well-Known Member

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    yo'mama is so old that she breast feeds like powder

    Haha.. I loved that sentence In White chicks
     

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