Here is something kinda new, I guess... Post jokes here that you know and see if you can make the other members of the LPa laugh... Here is one I know, it's stupid, but I love it... Theres two muffins in a oven and one muffin says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me" the other muffin turns to him and says, "Holy #### a talking muffin." Lol I love that one, what jokes do you guys have?
Yo mama's so dumb she stuck a battery up her ass and screamed "I got the powa!" I'm not sure why but i've allways liked that one.
I heard this from somebody, I forgot. I didn't like it but... Q : How dyou make an Osama explode? A : What, are you stupid? Just stuff a bomb in his turban and detonate it!
i dont know any funny jokes... wait... let me think... what day do fish hate most? ... friday hahah. sorry. i think this is quite funneys yeah. next joke.
i took up astronomy, so i put a sun roof in my ceiling...the people in the apartment above me are sooooooo mad steve wright hehehehe man i'm dumb
A bear walks into a bar and all the customers run to a far corner. The bartender just keeps doing what he's doing, while the bear eats all the beer nuts on the counter. Then, the bear takes out a gun and shoots one customer, and walks out the door. So the customers start yelling at the bartender, asking him why he didn't run or do something, and the bartender replies, "It's just a panda bear." The customer who got shot yells, "How can you tell that that was a panda bear?!" The bartender says, "Simple. It eats, shoots, and leaves."
LOL! That was an amazing play on words. I'm going to interject here, though: IF ANYONE POSTS ANY RACIST JOKES, OR ANY JOKES THAT EVEN HINT AT ANY FORM OF RACISM OR PREJUDICE AGAINST RACE, SEXUALITY, ETC, YOU WILL BE WARNED AND YOUR POST WILL BE DELETED. And that's the end of that public service announcement.
<!--QuoteBegin--Will@Jun 3 2004, 01:16 PM "SARS" stands for "Systematic Asian Removal Service." [/quote]
What has 8 legs, a beak, and a tail? A man on a horse holding a chicken. All of you are looking at me like I'm an idiot cause of the corny joke. I have a very strage sense of humor.
[/b][/quote] lol. I read that somewhere else. For some reason, my copy/paste didn't work right. There should've been a "<hypr>" in front of it to signify that that person said it. Plus it wasn't really racist. And I'm not racist anyway. So yeah.
i know a lot of old mama jokes.. yo mamas so old her birthday expired yo mamas so old dinosaurs made cave paintings of her yo mamas so old her birthday is in roman numerals yo mamas so old her social security number is 1 yo mamas so old when someone asked her for her I.D. she handed them a rock
An 85 year old man visits his doctor to get a sperm count. The geezer's given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty jar. "What happened?" says the doctor. "Well," the old man starts, "I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left -- nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called Evelyn, the lady next door, but still nothing." The doctor bursts out, "You asked your neighbor?" "Yep, No matter what we tried we couldn't get that damn jar open."
LMAO That got me thinking dirty for a moment ... [/b][/quote] That's the purpose of the joke. Hmm... I bought a really old riding lawnmower from my brother a few weeks ago, uhh huh.. You know..one of them John Deere models with the nice green paint and yellow trim with the big ass ####### tires, but there was a problem...I didn't like the name John Deere because I didnt want to be on top of some guy...because you know, I just dont go that way man! So I ended up naming it after my ex-girlfriend, which seemed to fit it rather nicely. You know why? Because like her, it's a bit loose but it still rides as fast as ever. *Walks away*
lol. I read that somewhere else. For some reason, my copy/paste didn't work right. There should've been a "<hypr>" in front of it to signify that that person said it. Plus it wasn't really racist. And I'm not racist anyway. So yeah. [/b][/quote] This was by far the funniest. I wish I knew some jokes. Hmm...I will come back with one.
two husbads had lost their wives...they were in desparate search when they happened to meet each other...the first guy asked" what does your wife look like?" he replied"she's tall, 36'24'36 and had long black hair...what about yours?" and came the reply "forget about mine, let's search for your's!" not the best....only one i could come up with...