Is masturbation a sin?

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by LornVourkolakas, Mar 26, 2005.

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  1. #61
    The Doctor

    The Doctor I wear a fez now. Fez's are cool. LPA Super Member

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    Thats bullshit. If thats true Id be the most pimply-assed son of a bitch youd ever see. :lol:


    If masturbation is a sin than I wanna be evil!
     
  2. #62
    Neil

    Neil Super Duper Member LPA Super Member

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    And when you're done, I have some laundry that needs doing. [/b][/quote]
    I'll get Vlad The Impaler to do it. I'll be too busy filing my toenails with a torch. :lol:
     
  3. #63
    Leones

    Leones Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Sin or not I'll keep doing it. It's my fucking body and it's good for it too.
     
  4. #64
    lpassailant

    lpassailant Well-Known Member

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    Never masturbate....or.....go to hell..... hmmm..... see y'all in hell!

    It's VERY unhealthy not to do so until twenty-one or whenever marriage is! If you never do so until marraige night, you've caused enough other problems, I doubt that everyone in heaven has never masturbated, now here is a question:

    Is it okay to jerk to your wife from heaven while she be-ith on Earth?
     
  5. #65
    El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    i'm doing it right now!
    (w00t)
     
  6. #66
    Minus

    Minus ohai LPA Addicted VIP

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    Vlad's already painting my house (in Jesus' blood), he has enough on his mind at the moment.

    Can you spare Hitler for an hour tomorrow?

    <!--QuoteBegin--duleLP
    @Mar 28 2005, 06:54 AM
    i'm doing it right now!
    (w00t)
    [/quote]

    That's just sick.
     
  7. #67
    Neil

    Neil Super Duper Member LPA Super Member

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    That's just sick. [/b][/quote]
    I think he and Charles Manson have a croquet match. :/

    Maybe I can fit you in after his squash game...

    :lol:
     
  8. #68
    Minus

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    I think he and Charles Manson have a croquet match. :/

    Maybe I can fit you in after his squash game...

    :lol: [/b][/quote]
    ...how about Joseph McCarthy?
     
  9. #69
    Testament

    Testament \m/ LPA Super Member

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    ...how about Joseph McCarthy? [/b][/quote]
    Nope, he's not available. He's playing a billiards match at my house with Natas Lived. I wonder if Nathan Gale is free?
     
  10. #70
    Minus

    Minus ohai LPA Addicted VIP

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    Nope, he's not available. He's playing a billiards match at my house with Natas Lived. I wonder if Nathan Gale is free? [/b][/quote]
    Nope.

    Maybe I'll just hire all those damn masturbators to do it for me.

    That's a whole lot of laundry.
     
  11. #71
    LornVourkolakas

    LornVourkolakas About To Blow Chunks

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    How the hell did a thread about masturbation end up being about reservations in hell?
     
  12. #72
    hybrid_soldier

    hybrid_soldier Well-Known Member

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    Haha thats what i was thinking! and NOPE theres no way its a sin, becuase just too many peaple do it. It's natural! Simple.
     
  13. #73
    lpassailant

    lpassailant Well-Known Member

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    Maybe it is a sin and only humans without hands or arms go to Heaven, maybe Heaven means "Crippled People" in Latin or something...
     
  14. #74
    Testament

    Testament \m/ LPA Super Member

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    Because masturbation could be a sin, and if it is, I'll meet you at hell's bend at 4:30 CST, all of you.
     
  15. #75
    JasonB

    JasonB Well-Known Member

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    It's not a sin to wax your woody :D
     
  16. #76
    Testament

    Testament \m/ LPA Super Member

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    what about the other gender?
     
  17. #77
    lpassailant

    lpassailant Well-Known Member

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    Then it's a spectacle...heheh
     
  18. #78
    $pvcxGhxztCasey

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    what about the other gender? [/b][/quote]
    No, it's not a sin to bikini wax.
     
  19. #79
    Testament

    Testament \m/ LPA Super Member

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    If masturbation is a sin then practically everyone is going to hell and hell will be heaven and heaven will be hell.
     
  20. #80
    User Name

    User Name Angry Marines. Always angry, all the time. >:C LPA Super Member

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    Haha thats what i was thinking! and NOPE theres no way its a sin, becuase just too many peaple do it. It's natural! Simple. [/b][/quote]
    So by your logic, killing someone wouldn't be a sin. After all, 'it's natural'.
     
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