So I think this story is a piece of shit and I hate it. It's aimless rambling with a vague setting but its also kind of relative at the moment. Some abstract thought I've been wanting to get out. Which is where the title comes from. I awoke on a snowy beach. Lips blue, breath thick in the air. I sat up and sighed at the loss of another dream. Another dream ending in self destruction. They always felt so real, but never real enough. There's always a sense of a sort of two dimensionalism. But then again so did this place. I wasn't sure what was real anymore. I looked out at the water. It stopped at the horizon yet it was infinite, and it made me think if there was anything past this. Made me wonder if this too was just a figment. I heard light footsteps in the sand behind me. A girl walked by, she wasn't real. Just a mannequin, a model I created for use in my imagination. She was meant to keep me company but only made it all the more lonely. Only made me long for someone capable of question or thought... God damn it's cold here. I walked over to her. No heat, no scent, no emotion. Maybe one day I would wake and she would be real. Until then I guess I would just keep walking through this ethereal wasteland. Only stopping to sleep and dream of some far off place. Maybe one day they wouldn't end in self destruction. Maybe one day it wouldn't end. Maybe I was looking in the wrong places. Looking to the outside seemed so expansive, so infinite. If there even was an outside. But looking inside seemed so finite. So claustrophobic. And then there's this God forsaken place. Don't even know what to fucking call it. I just know it seemed like there was no fucking escape. Trying to find some sort of existential purpose here was pointless. Kind of ironic really. Never thought in my search for existentialism I would only find pure nihilism. God, if there was a God, he was truly a sadist. Up there watching me squirm in this ant farm. Maybe I am God, a lost creator with nothing better to do then to wander, create and destroy. I suppose you can't find something that's lost if you know where you are.