I'll Never Trust Myself

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by [Th3 Wkng De@d], Apr 3, 2005.

  1. #1
    [Th3 Wkng De@d]

    [Th3 Wkng De@d] Banned

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    I'm starting to think it's not worth it anymore
    I can't find reason to live my life anymore
    Everything's so horrible, so out of place
    So hard to realize, I can't let go of disgrace
    The feelings I hold just don't matter to others
    Mistreatment confined to me, from another
    Can't tell what's real, what's there, I can't fell
    My wounds, I know, will never heal
    I've never felt like this before
    I cry for help, but I am ignored
    I'm always ashamed to know I'll alway regret
    Everything I do, every last step
    But now I see, now I realize,
    that the burden I hold is my own life

    I cut so deep, so slow into me
    My flesh starts to peel, I bleed steadily
    I hold myself still, trying not to shake
    I feel so cold, I feel like I'm about to break
    To hold all this inside, and trying to breathe
    And trying not to let loose about what's happening to me
    I've lost all the love, I've lost my common sense
    I can't smile anymore without feeling tense
    I'm hidden again, stuck on the outside
    Hiding in the shadows, waiting for the light
    I'm afraid to say this, but I'm falling apart
    I can't stop it, I'm trying to hard
    Being yelled at constantly, treated like no one
    Stuck in my room with the fact, knowing I can't run
    I'm too afraid of change, there are too many problems to face
    So much to worry about, I can't keep at my own pace
    No one would care, nobody's there
    Crying about what's so unfair
    Never to hear what happened yesterday
    Let alone, I can't stand to hear the things that I say
    Nothing makes any sense, nothing ever did
    Always talking about something, but no one cares about it.
    They know I'm here, I'm just not worth it
    Who would waste their time on a worthless piece of shit?
    Nobody, they're always self-conscious
    Sadistic, watching others suffer, they watch this?
    Unbelievable, it just makes me wanna yell
    But I no I'll never have the guts to 'cause I know I'll never trust
    myself

    Sometimes I wish I could actually smile
    Be with others, know they'd let me stay a while
    They fake it all, make you take the fall
    Letting you know that you're the one who'd always make them stall
    They say that you're holding them back, talking smack
    Making them look bad
    I'll never get over it, and nothing else
    I know I have to end this life 'cause I know I'll never trust myself

    I'm tired of always having to scream
    Always having to slow down and explain what I mean
    Why do I always have to hide these cuts?
    Someday they'll find out, should I just finally give it up?
    Thousand's of kids live with a perfect life
    While thousand's others are still waiting for their time to die
    These thousands kids are always left defenseless
    The others don't give a care, they're clueless, they're senseless
    I'll never forget the times I burst into tears
    Never forgot the times I always always huddled with fears
    Anxiety, left with no ability to know
    Why I always feel like this, how I've always felt alone
    Someday I wish I could close my eyes and pretend
    That someday, maybe someday, life will be better again
    But someday I wish I could run and see how
    I'll never be better again, and how I'll never trust myself

    - - -

    This song contains some...very emotional stuff. It was an old song I wrote for a friend who had been going through rough times. I had been trying to help her out. And even though showing her depressing songs seems wrong, I wanted to show her that I knew how she felt.
     
  2. #2
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    :eek: WOW :eek:

    This is totally amazing.
    I'm lost for words, sometimes trying a bit too hard to rhyme but totally amazing.

    and i understand where ur comming from showing a depressed person a depressing person. i mean someone whoes depressed will be constantly being told everything is ok. but that just makes them feel more alone then ever. Showing that you understand there pain is the first step to helping someone depressed. cause they feel they can trust u.

    GREAT WORK
     
  3. #3
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    You just spoke for me, thanks :D
     
  4. #4
    ahamLP

    ahamLP Well-Known Member

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    Great,just great,believe me before I started to read this one I was wondering why has this person put such a long one,it will be boring to read so much,but believe me after I read it I was like when did I finish this,its just an amazing peice of work though you havent put a lot of rhyme in this yet it has great rhytm in it and emotioanlly its awesome too,I am happy to see so many talented people here but I am really sad that there are only a set of 8-10 people who give feedbacks/comments (and incidently those are the poets who post their poems here) I dont know inspite of such great poems posted here why dont poeple read and ecourage or criticise whichever they feel,hopefully this will change,otherwise there will be no meaning left in posting poems when hardly a few people of so many of them read and comment.Anyways I guess David has summed up the comments pretty well apart from that I wanted to say that there is no other way of reducing pain but to be with those in pain and make them feel they are not alone,and then making them feel they you are not alone with that person,your freind is lucky that she has someone like you with her,hope everybody has such freinds,I have much more to say but since this is getting way too long all I want to say is you are so much talented,I dont need to put a seal on you as talented,you have all that takes for a great poet,best of luck and keep the great work coming and with it helping the people who are in desperate need.
     
  5. #5
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    I agree with this. Sadly, very few people dare to make comments about our work. And i say "our", cuz I've been posting here and I'd really appreciate critics from all the people who see my stuff. Anyway, I hope this changes someday, cuz we've got very talented people,and critics (good & bad) encourages them to keep it up with the good work or to try to make it better.
    Again, very good poem. please never give up!!
     

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