Still in mourning for Chester obviously, but I try to keep busy by working, binge-watching funny stuff on YouTube, and putting the finishing touches on my upcoming trip to California. What about y'all? If the thread comes off as insensitive, I'm sorry.
i want to put it on my xbox gamertag but it should be 1080x1080 at least and i couldnt find it anywhere
I was travelling ok. I don't know exactly why I did it, but I went to LP's wiki page, and seeing Chester as a "former member" really rocked me to the core. Like, he is really gone. Just like that.
I, too, have been listening to the band. I'm starting to appreciate some of their songs that I didn't care for long ago.
It's been incredibly surreal and I still feel in denial about it. It puts into perspective all the things in life we can take for granted. I thought they'd be 70 still playing "In the End", and I looked at Chester as some immortal hero, but in a way he is. I know it was out of anyone's control and he was fighting those inner conflicts for who knows how long, but I feel so awful for his family and the band. I wish something could've been done, anything but this.
Today it's pretty hard cause it's a week today and I'm still as sad as on the first day. I just hope it gets easier with time. People are telling me that it'll get better and I'm so thankful for the thread and every single one here lifting me up and showing that I'm not alone. We're in this together and I believe that we'll make it through. But still there's this heavy feeling and the pain in my chest, every second of the day.
I find that when ever I see or hear someone in public eye that like has passed away I Google them... and check out Wikipedia.. . Coz if it's true it's up on there pretty fast... With Chester thou hearing my 20yrs crying her eyes out over the phone when she broke the news to me .. I knew it was true.. I shall confess I was initially cold and harsh in my response to her... but then I was at work on a 15 hr shift... I'm still shocked and saddened that he has gone.. but I've had 4 yrs of practising keeping my emotions in check... I've found the "This is linkin park " playlist on Spotify, which has been playing off & on at work.. . The early tunes are great for doing hoovering especially when it's a larger area to do
I've been thinking about Chester non-stop since it happened...It's to the point where it's hard to even function at times.
I hate seeing anything that talks about Chester in the past tense. I'm getting over the shock but it's still so hard to accept. I was watching some of the footage I took on my phone at the O2 arena earlier this month and still can't get my head around the fact I'll never get to see Chester live again. It was so awesome but now watching it is so sad. I wish I could have met him in person just to say thank you.
I guess different folks for different strokes when it comes to coping with the situation. I see some people would like to listen to any LP song or watch their video. I, on the other hand, don't want to. It's not that I'll not listen to them forever but not just now. Prolly, I'm in denial or some sort of. It's still unbelievable like am still on the wtf stage. I still go with my usual routine but there are instances wherein I would just stop what I'm doing and ask myself wtf just happened a week ago. Although, it does help coming here in LP wherein you can say whatever you feel to people who could relate and not be judged.
Today is a day I can't stand listen to LP or watch videos from them cause it just hurts to much. I really can't stand it today
Is it a coincidence that the weather has been absolute shit for a week now where I live? It's raining and cold...It's like even the sky is sad that Chester is gone. And I've had head aches throughout this whole week. I had like a break down on Tuesday and cried for 2 hours. After that I was exhausted and felt like there were no more tears that I could shed. But still it's surreal and everytime I start to think about something else (maybe even enjoying myself) reality hits me that Chester is dead. I feel like I'm crazy for feeling like this and thinking so much about him.
Ive just been burying my face in whatever I can, traveled for a bit, I found out I can at least listen up through Meteora without feeling hit too hard, I feel like MTM and after will be harder cause the emotions are a little more on the surface to me, so I have been avoiding the later stuff. I have been working on my music and when everything first hit, I would try to make a more upbeat song and it would come out darker, guess you can't really force where your head is. Now I tried to make something hard and it came out all super happy. I am generally okay though, but I get pissed when I see one of those dipshits post the hoax murder shit, like this isn't already hard enough and now people are trying to stick conspiracy dick in it. :/ The attentionwhores on my facebook aren't much better, the ones who have never listened to LP in their life, short of a track they would hear on Top 40, who are now posting lyrics left and right. Guess they can find a way to make anything about themselves. Too bad you can't delete family eh? I think what's really helping me get through it, is that in 10-20 years I know we will get Hologram chester, like they did with Tupac and for some reason I feel like he would really get a kick out of that, and just thinking about it makes me smile. I was going through my music collections the other day, wondering what I would have if I had never found Linkin Park, as I have discovered a lot of the music I like through them, and It looks like I would have had a couple Limp Bizkit CDs, and a Weird AL CD. Anyways, I hope everybody else is doing okay. And as always, if you need to, talk to somebody, anybody. Hell, PM Me if you have to. You don't have to give up to let go.