I use to listen to LP when I was younger but not hardcore. Lately, I’ve been really getting into their music and I’m seriously obsessed with Chester. I’m just going to lay it all out. I’m 33 & I’m crushing on him so bad. The other day I was taking a shower and imagining he was there with me, just standing behind me, but not anything more than that. I try to talk to him to see if he’ll talk back somehow. I think he is the most sexiest man I have ever seen. It’s crazy. I’ve been watching so many YT videos of the band and him. I’ve learned so much about his childhood & personal life. He has been through so much, like all of us. I can’t explain how special it is for someone like him to share so much detail about his life. It’s so weird, I don’t know what’s going on with me right now? I don’t think I’m serious about it, but I’ve had a few thoughts that maybe if I killed myself, I could see him. It’s pretty crazy! I don’t know what is going on! I wish I could clone him or something to get him back. He is so sexy and talented. I love his voice so much! I like to sing as well & man! I wish I could’ve met him and shared that passion with him.
Hey there, you really need to talk to a professional about these thoughts you're having. Please, for the sake of your mental health, see your doctor and go from there.
I’m feeling a little better now. Thanks for replying. I kinda regret not seeing them in concert though. It really sucks, but I have to accept it for what it is.
Are you often isolated and don't have many social interactions? From personal experience I can tell you that our brains tend to imagine contact/conversations with others, I guess as a kind of "safety measure" in phases you don't get these impulses or enough affection from outside. Humans are group animals, we come in packs. Our brains are hardwired to stay trained in these areas; evolution-wise that's handy. If you get conscious about these situations and notice when they start, you can push/change your thoughts in certain directions (e.g. when you want them to stop). Just find the "right"/positive things to tell yourself in your thoughts so you can operate against it. Be aware that your behavior is a warning sign. Even if you have enough social interactions it may show you that you feel in need of something. And even if we come in packs we shouldn't get too dependent on each other (dead or alive), it only leads to unhealthy relationships. Love yourself before you can give love to others. Mark is right, if you should fall back into something like that (anything really that leaves you concerned), you should talk to someone professional. As early as possible. Often we're late when our bodies warn us; but it's never too late to make a change.