So Casper White (AKA The 2nd Hope) approached me about doing a sort of part two of Hands Held High. This is what I wrote for the track, hope you guys like it. A little bit of info: I basically started of writing a verse about a Soldier who is walking through a Village he bombed and watching all the survivors and eventually feeling guilt for following orders. The second verse is from the perspective of a father in the Village. The last is from his son. Listen to the song as you read along: https://soundcloud.com/rahatc/hands-held-high-pt-ii-produced I'm walking through a waste land/ Fear on my face and/ Thinking that I am Just about to break and/ I can't understand what I've done What I caused/ Following orders Now their lives are gone/ I see families gather as I walk through town/ I bombed this village So they don't make a sound/ I see a man with no arms Cuz I blew em off/ He can't hug his kids I can't take it please stop/ A baby so beautiful I can't bear to look/ Her face deformed From radiation she took/ A mother she's crying She no longer has a son/ Asking God why that fire had to come/ And I'm looking at it all Cuz its all my fault/ I followed my orders Their lives just halt/ I'm thinking about how We were supposed to remember/ The pain we went through The times we suffered/ Did we truly understand What's evil and wrong? Tell me why the devil Marches so strong? He walks among us in every mission every fight/ We make the same mistakes Every day, every night That's proof We don't get it/ We always forget it/ Never look at our mistakes we never accept it/ Vengeance incompatible With never forget/ Cuz we just turned Around and let it happen again/ He's walking down the road What does he want? A gun on his a back I see the weapons he flaunts/ I don't understand Why is he here? He already blew off my arms he has nothing to fear/ I can't even hit him I'm disabled and useless/ He took away my life I'm serving no purpose/ My kids try to hug me I can't hug em back/ I'm crying on their shoulders And all he does is laugh/ My brother has a daughter Broken and deformed/ How does he walk here After the evil he's performed? My cousin she is just Crying for her son/ He took a journey to the grave And his threads came undone/ Does he understand this is all his fault? he said he followed orders Now our lives just halt/ He says some my people Burned his village/ Never gave such an order We're not the ones who did it/ We're just a family in the middle of a war/ And we never understood What he said he's fighting for/ Is it vengeance is it hatred Why are we punished? We never hurt a soul But our lives take a plummet/ I see grief on his face Is this human? is it guilt? He said he pushed a button Launched the weapon he built/ His weapons cant tell Who is innocent or weak/ They simply destroy Whomever they see/ Dad said the man who made The fire is here/ I know he's really bad But i'm feeling no fear/ He needs to understand What he did wasn't right/ Never hurt anybody Never wanted to fight/ Now my dad can't hug me I can't feel his arms/ My aunt is crying My eldest cousin is gone/ And my little baby cousin She looks kind of strange/ And its all because of him He caused this change/ I took a deep breath/ Walked up to him and said/ Mister do you understand My family's dead? My dad doesn't live cuz he can never hug me/ And my aunts been gone My cousin can't bug me/ My uncle he's broken His daughter isn't pretty/ Why did you do this? What reason can you give me? Please answer my question Please give it to me quickly/ Don't tell me i'm too young I feel the pain trying to kill me/
''I see a man with no arms, cuz I blew em off''. I'm sorry but that made me laugh. Anyway, are you going to vocals with these? It's a cool idea
Yup recording them tomorrow then 2nd hopes gonna mix it into his new instrumental so you guys should have the finished song sometime soon.
Thanks a lot ^^. To anyone reading this be sure to check out the finished song in the Recording Studio forum.
Ummm would a mod be able to combine the two threads here? I originally just posted the lyrics in the writers block which doesn't exist anymore so yea...lol.
The lyrics: I get what you were trying to do with it but I felt the execution was kinda poor. You were trying to get the emotion across but I felt that it fell short. The rapping: Work on your delivery. You sound too 'quiet' and self aware on the mic. Lose that and go in with a 100% from next time. Especially for a track like this one would expect an emotional performance. That was lacking.
I was going for a sort of sad voice when recording I guess it just came off too soft in the end. Thanks for the criticism dude helps me get better in the long run.