Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Mechanical Christ, Aug 25, 2004.
Join the club...
Join the club... [/b][/quote]
There's a club? Maybe I should Join
There's a club? Maybe I should Join [/b][/quote]
i wanna join too!
i wanna join too! [/b][/quote]
This makes no sense, if there was club, why would any of you be lonely?
This makes no sense, if there was club, why would any of you be lonely? [/b][/quote]
Great so if there is a club no one would ever be lonely again.......I want to be part of it
I died and came back to life. On the message board I mean.
I wish my Dad would like, move away so I don't have to put up with his drunken crap or how he smokes weed.
Friday... I have my first date
I'm going to make this long..makes me feel better and less people will read it!
Ummm....at first when I was small I thought it was normal so I didn't tell anyone. I grow up to find (8) that if your mom beats you it's not normal annd that she shouldn't do that. I become "numb" I basically have no feelings/friends/life, I slash my wrists, I hate myself I am an official nerd.
I love my dad but he is never home so he doesnt know about this.
I make one really good friend (new girl) so I tell her everything she advises me to tell my dad...I tell him my dad doesnt belive me but my mom gets scared stiff so she stops doing it. Ofcourse the usual slaps but nothing serious.
My one new friend makes many friends in school and so by association I have friends artificial fake shit but "friends". They find out I take secrets to the grave so they start telling me all of this stuff mainly nonesense but I don't care thats why I dont tell anyone.
I basically have an artificial life with artificial friends and anyone who meets me thinks I'm perfect. :angry:
Now my mom starts hitting me again and I just wont put up with it so I scream back at her she just hits harder she tells me not to tell my dad or she will beat me harder. I'm strong I mind the hitting but not as much as I mind how she acts like she loves me infront of her friends and it just burns me up how fake she is.She tells me I'm a pig so in one year I lost 11kg. Now I have eating disorder and I cant stop blaming her.
The fact that I'm addicted to metal music makes it worse because I just feel even more angry. I try to avoid my mother as much as possible.
I force myself to smile when I'm sad and i NEVER cry infront of anyone even when my grand mother died.But when I'm alone at night in my bed I start crying and I feel weak and pathetic.
My mother has officially scarred my life and emotions because I feel as if I have none.
People care...why can't my family?
I suffer from all the fakeness...things like relating to music (SlipKnot, LP) help me control my feelings and put them in order because I related to them so well. It doesn't matter whether you feel angry or not after you listen to it, what matters is if you can relate to it, it helps. As for your mom, if the injuries are serious, you should lodge a police report, or you could tell somebody, like a teacher you can approach, someone with authority.
As for your health, please please please don't stop eating just because she called you a pig. It's really not good for you. You have to have self-esteem, and make yourself believe that you are not a pig. You have to make yourself hardened on the outside, so her attacks cannot penetrate you. Whenever she talks to you, beats you, scolds you, here's a tip that I try all the time, it works for me: zone out. Stare into space, act like you're a little...not right in the head. After a while she'll think you're crazy and not go near you for fear of your insanity.
It's kinda hard to zone out when she is hitting me but when she screams ya that helps alot.
She scares me I think she is insane
I can't really call the police for something like this is Dubai and well there aren't any injuries only bruises not on the face only arms stomach, back and legs (not all together)so I always wear long sleeves and stuff.
Music always makes me feel angrier but I feel better after listening to it because I can relate to the stuff (like you and many others) and most of it is true.
I can guess yo're not fake and thanks for the advice
BTW I'm fake because I smile when I am about to cry so I will act cheerful and like I have no problems in other threads... EVERYONE has problems.
When I listen to music I almost feel different,like another person.I look at my life and how totaly screwed up it is but when I listen to music like Linkin Park I just feel secure.
I also wonder sometimes why I live,why I see through these eyes and why I was put on this earth.The quiestions will never be answered but one things for sure-if I hadn't met my freinds and found out about linkin park I would be dead and there would be no more Luke Luthi-Morrison aka Hellflame
I suk at words you put it very well
I had my first date today, with a friend I know for a long time now, and I didn't dare to kiss him :wth:
i'm speechless.... i'm just really really sorry for your life
:hugz: i agree with what Undeadmaster told you, and please don't hate yourself for what you are, i know it's not that easy cos i often feel like that, yeah i'm fake sometimes too, i tend to smile instead of crying when i'm in front of someone...yeah the same as me, feeling pathetic and that stuff, but hey, don't think you're weak! cos you're quite the opposite, imo.
Wow I am speechless. Sane people really do care! Thanks for the hug. :hugz:
I know you ment it in a "positive" way but saying "I'm really sorry for your life" makes me feel pathetic because I hate people that whine but you called me imo thanks . ( BTW I suck at sarcasim so yes I really do mean thanks).
I think this is weird but after all this I still love my mom I thought I didn't but I do. I figured this out by trying to hit her back but I couldn't :argh: I really wanted to but I couldn't, unthinkable yet I always imagine it .
Don't think it's that bad because I acctually have no other problems. AHHHH. This is me trying to act perfect again :angry:
- I never post in Serious Chat because I never know how to write my opinion well in English, so i just wait for someone with the same opinion as me and then I can post: I agree.
- Yes, I am very lazy.
YOU are so not serious. In this thread. [/b][/quote]
NEVAAAHH!!! ARRR MATEY
This is refreshing
Never be serious again have no worries live on the edge with daring escapes and treasure:I admire you even though I know your joking.
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