Got Something You Want To Let Out?

*hands you a Johnny comic book* [/b][/quote]
been there, may times...

 

damn. i just realized that all this stuff i've been going through with guys is all just a big distraction from how i cant get over chris, who moved away 6 months ago. i thought i was over him, but really i was just distracted from him by some other dudes, and now that they are fading away im starting to think of chris again. perfect. just fucking perfect.

 

.. Hey, it is okay!

 

:'(
I hope she can forgive me after what i've said.

 

This is really getting to me but i'm thinking about breaking up with Angie. It's just that she is always busy doing something and we never get to talk. I just think that a year spent apart was too much for us to handle. I just don't know what to do.

 

we need to go bowling. really. i think we actualy do. i've been through exactly the same before... as usual. does she know how you feel?

 

Have you tried talking to her about this? I know it may sound dumb but why don't you tell her what you just told (well... typed to) us?

 

we need to go bowling. really. i think we actualy do. i've been through exactly the same before... as usual. does she know how you feel? [/b][/quote]


No, she doesn't know how I feel, and in a way...i'm afraid to tell her, because she was the one who said that she still loved me. Maybe I was just in denial, because in a way I still hate her for how she broke my heart the first time. I'm just afraid that she'll hurt herself if I tell her what I want to say. Angie is a very fragile girl.

 

No, she doesn't know how I feel, and in a way...i'm afraid to tell her, because she was the one who said that she still loved me. Maybe I was just in denial, because in a way I still hate her for how she broke my heart the first time. I'm just afraid that she'll hurt herself if I tell her what I want to say. Angie is a very fragile girl. [/b][/quote]
ah. my best mate had exactly the same problem a few days ago. it sucks really. you can't say it without sounding really really harsh and like it's all their fault. when it was happening to me i said something. but that may not be the right thing for you because you say Angie is fragile. it's hard to know what to do, and how she'll react. and yes. denial sucks. i was there once in the same situation. i wish i hadn't done what i did now though.

 

ah. my best mate had exactly the same problem a few days ago. it sucks really. you can't say it without sounding really really harsh and like it's all their fault. when it was happening to me i said something. but that may not be the right thing for you because you say Angie is fragile. it's hard to know what to do, and how she'll react. and yes. denial sucks. i was there once in the same situation. i wish i hadn't done what i did now though. [/b][/quote]
yeah, love does suck when your not in love. i just wish i can do something without hurting her. she goes through enough as it is...and i think that she just made the confession too quickly...because seriously, i don't know whether i love her or not...back then, yeah i did...but im just not sure now.

 

yeah, love does suck when your not in love. i just wish i can do something without hurting her. she goes through enough as it is...and i think that she just made the confession too quickly...because seriously, i don't know whether i love her or not...back then, yeah i did...but im just not sure now. [/b][/quote]
yeah. exactly the same situation that i was in. except at the time i didn't particualy like my gf because she was ignoring me and stuff and it got very, very annoying. so i didn't care as much as i should have done about hurting her which made it easier. i can see where you're coming from about not wanting to hurt her. you just got to tell her in the kindest way possible, whatever you chose to do. and i wish you luck.

 

yeah. exactly the same situation that i was in. except at the time i didn't particualy like my gf because she was ignoring me and stuff and it got very, very annoying. so i didn't care as much as i should have done about hurting her which made it easier. i can see where you're coming from about not wanting to hurt her. you just got to tell her in the kindest way possible, whatever you chose to do. and i wish you luck. [/b][/quote]
thanks mate...and i swear to god...one of these days, we'll go bowling

 

thanks mate...and i swear to god...one of these days, we'll go bowling [/b][/quote]
haha no problem.

 

I cry every time I say good bye to him. :'( .....he thinks it's because i'm jealous of how he treats his other friends... ...but its not. He isn't worth my tears but I can't seem to help it. :'(

 

And bowling, you mean 'big huge emofest', right?

 

And bowling, you mean 'big huge emofest', right? [/b][/quote]

 

Okay. You can scroll over this. Just my thoughts of last night. One big rant.

--

So yeah, I've found out I really have no life. Ofcourse everyone is saying that on the internet, but my life is routine, routine, routine. Yesterday was different though. I thought about the things I always used to hide from myself. I wanted to cry but I couldn't, Leonie was in the room.
Basically, it's about 2 things. Giving love and being loved.
As pathetic as it sounds, I wish I had some friends in real. Friends who love you as you are. Friends you would die for. Friends who wants to die for you. But I'm scared, for the unknown. People make me scared.
See, I saw this group of friends yesterday on the street, making fun and stuff. All I want to do then is just cry and die. I want to be a part of that aswell. I just want to get the feeling that I'm loved. Yes, people do love me, but that's internet. I want love you can touch, love you can see and feel.
I have lots, lotsa lots of friends on the internet. But that's because I'm very different on here. You would never say I'm that 'popular Marj' if you knew me in real life. Truth is, that 'Marj' is only my..yeah dream? I don't know how to explain it. You could say that I need to change then, but you don't want to know how many times I have tried that, but I can't. I'm just really scared for the people, they could hurt me, I could hurt them, they would dissapoint me, I would dissapoint them. I want to give people the feeling that I love them but somehow I can't give them that feeling.
Lately Shirley is so beautiful, I wanted to tell her that yesterday but I didn't dare it. I don't know why. Maybe she will think I like her more then she actually wants. The girls on my school avoid me since they know I like girls aswell. That's weird...right? I don't know anymore.
And it's unfair I won the Hottest girl award on here, someone else should have got it.
It's like I have this love/hate relationship with love itself.
I want to be loved, and I want to give love, but at the same time I just want to be alone.
Sometimes I really do think that is was better if there was someone else born in my place. The world has already overpopulation, so it would be better off without me.

 

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

you need lots of hugs!!!

don't ever think that the world doesn't need you! i bet there' s lots of people who love and respect you that's not on the internet. as for not saying to this girl that you think she looks pretty, just say so. don't be afraid because your bi. if she worried, it's her problem - just let her know you don't see her that way.


as for life being just routine, break out of that! my life is the same just now and it's so easy to just go with the flow but i am trying to get off my lazy arse and do things that deep down i want to do. and you know what? i feel much better for it. do the same. take a chance in life and live it as you want to!

i hope this helps, even just alittle!

 

I had the same problems as well. I felt like such an outcast at school (and still do, actually), because while people associated themselves with me, nobody actually went through their way to hang out with me, or to try to talk to me, or even keep in touch with me. I always had to be the one that started a conversation, and even then the conversation is half-assed at best. I used to sit alone during lunch... walk by myself, sit in the back and talk to nobody.

I actually found it wasn't me, it's just the people around me. I ran into a bunch of friends I haven't hung out with since... middle school? Elementary even? And soon they became my closest friends. It took less than a month to establish that. When I had been hanging out with them for maybe a few weeks, 6 of them invited me to their graduation, while out of those school friends I was 'friends' with at school, none invited me to their graduation. Just goes to show you how people are.

I'm scarily similar to you when it comes to friends. I have trouble opening up. It depends on the situation, I flip flop between extrovert and introvert. But mostly I'm an introvert. You just kind of have to... I don't know, take a leap of faith. I still feel like I'm going to disappoint my friends (and I think I have several times, actually), but our bond is so close that it just goes through. We get through it as friends and live through it that way.

Love has a way of being confusing. While you want it, at the same time you don't. I have this theory that love is just full of opposites. It's all about you, but it's also about you and people. Before you can love yourself, you have to love others... or even the other way around. With love there's no meaning in time, but it's the time with others that makes it worthwhile.

The world would be VERY different without you, Marj. You affect every single person around you, indirectly or otherwise. There are people who are much better because of you, and you just have to find those people that do the same to you. That change you for the better, that make you feel like a real person.

Take care, Marj. :hugz: That smiley is so overused but it's a necessary evil to convey the emotion.

 

Today I lied to my best friend.She wanted to meet with me and I said I need to go to the doctor.I just didn't want to go somewhere.Can this leed to the friendship crash?