Goodnight All these words you say, Lie broken on the floor, The promise that you made, Gone forever more, A perpetual decay, This disease distorts my view, But tonight I’ll breathe my last, And say goodbye to you, Will this never end, I should have left before, Say goodbye, Say goodnight, The poison of your lips, Causing me to bleed, A thousand other lies, How come I couldn’t see, That hurt was all you made, A darkness in my mind, You were never there, My last lifeline, Will this never end, I should have left before, Say goodbye, Say goodnight, Goodbye, I’m gonna leave, Goodnight, It’s time to leave, Will this never end, I should have left before, Say goodbye, Say goodnight, Nothing more to give, I’ve got nothing more to give, Goodnight. thoughts please...
Nice, not your best, but your best is a very high standard, so don't be dissapointed, it is still good but there are only 2 stroung versers (the longer ones) and the rest, are.... just like little choruses. in other words i didn't like the setup of the poem much. good effort, keep writting.