Go Home || Part 1 [Elie]

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by elie, Jun 13, 2003.

  1. #1
    elie

    elie Well-Known Member

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    "Go Home" is a rap session Elie has, where he goes off on the things that really annoy him. Enough third person, here it is:

    Whack, all this music is crap.
    Lyrically, those who wrote it need a slap.
    50 Cent, twenty-one questions
    Kid take a lesson, you're life problem's need a miracle blessin'.

    Eminem? Why you ryhme with flem?
    Your voice is a 15 year old going through puberty again.
    Britney Spears? Miss Aguilera? You're both labeled teen idol's
    If God liked pop music, he'd put a punishment for your songs in the Bible

    Tommy Verciti? Are your arms weak and palms sweaty?
    Eminem's crying again, about his million dollar Chevy.
    The bills in his pocket's are getting quite heavy
    That fifteen your old sent to replace him, he's quite ready!

    Metallica? What the heck did they do with Napster and my free music?
    Any chance for them to win over a lost fan base, and they lose it.
    Lars, what the heck was he thinking?
    The joy of millions of people lost, because he was probably drinking.

    Limp Bizkit? What happend to Fred Durst?
    Someone tell that angered child to try and rehearse
    The only real talent in the band dropped out like a bird from the sky
    Now the band resorts to the musical stylings of "Love us or die!"

    Korn, where's the porn? How old are you guys?
    You don't live in the ghetto, so quit using it in your lines
    As for the other "gangsta" rappers, just learn to ryhme
    Don't waste my time, with useless specifications about your washed up lives

    You lived in the ghetto, two days later you're rich
    None of y'all are special, your stories are older than a three-day-old itch
    Will it hurt any of you to write a real rap?
    There is an entire English dictionary, yet you copy the crap?

    And would it hurt you to rehearse?
    Your ryhming injuries need a nurse
    Every one of your lines has a curse
    Your head probably hurts, from your two mother's slapping you with a purse

    I know you have problems, but you can't truly be that mad
    It's not the fault of your fans that you have one mom and two dads
    And before you say Elie is a tad bit too obscene
    Wait for part 2 kids, this little ryhme was edited and clean







    Part II coming soon.
     
  2. #2
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    Wow, I really think it's good. But the funny thing is that it reminds me of something as a combination of High Voltage & Will the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up? Were you going for that?
     
  3. #3
    Jamie

    Jamie Super Member LPA Super Member

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    WOW!!!

    Oh My God

    That was the funniest rap song ive read!!

    bring on Part 2
     
  4. #4
    elie

    elie Well-Known Member

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    If you meant I used those as a beat, no, I didn't I basically was just bobbing my head and ryhming outloud, and I came up with those...
     
  5. #5
    Jamie

    Jamie Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Whatever you did it was amazing
     
  6. #6
    elie

    elie Well-Known Member

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    Haha? Thank-you for your comments. I had the 'original' that I was saying outloud, but it was a bit offensive, and I didn't know how it would go over with other people, so I decided to just use the one you see now.
     
  7. #7
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    If you meant I used those as a beat, no, I didn't I basically was just bobbing my head and ryhming outloud, and I came up with those... [/b][/quote]
    Lol. It sounded SOO much like it though . . . . btw, it was really funny.
     
  8. #8
    Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    Elie, it sucks. I'm sorry, but I don't like it.

    There's no flow at all.

    And what the hell is.....

    Korn, where's the porn? How old are you guys?
    You don't live in the ghetto, so quit using it in your lines
    As for the other "gangsta" rappers, just learn to ryhme
    Don't waste my time, with useless specifications about your washed up lives


    .....all about? How the hell did you go from KoRn to "other gansta rappers"? Are you saying KoRn is a band of "gansta rappers"? And "Korn, where's the porn"? C'mon man, this whole thing just sucks. Work on it and come back. It's terrible. No flow and half of it doesn't make sense.
     
  9. #9
    elie

    elie Well-Known Member

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    I respect your opinion Will, and I will take your comments into consideration for my next peice of writing.

    I know it sounded like I went from Korn, then established them as Gangsta rappers, but it wasn't meant to be like that. It was meant to show the resemblances between them...because...Gangsta's talk about their rough childhood, and so does Jonathan Davis...
     
  10. #10
    PP:KUt

    PP:KUt Banned

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    as much as i dont want to, i agree with will......it was horrible. like he said, korn got nothin to do w/gangsta or whatever....and whats wrong w/eminem?? what does "why you rhyme w/flem" mean? i dunno, just dont make much sense to me.
     
  11. #11
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    Aww . . . . . I can't believe you guys didn't like Elie's work . . . . . I really liked it . . . . :(
     
  12. #12
    Hoodie

    Hoodie Well-Known Member

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    Must have edited out the Korn part because I dont see it. And Korn, wheres the porn does make sense, as the bassist's younger sister is involved with adult entertainment I believe. well whatever. Nice I enjoyed it very much. Poo on you haterz. :rolleyes:
     
  13. #13
    elie

    elie Well-Known Member

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    Korn deals alot with porn. Not only is the relationship that Hoodie mentioned correct, if you look inside 3/5 albums from Korn, the booklet's all include some type of pornography within them...
     
  14. #14
    Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    I'm not a big fan of KoRn and I don't own any of there albums so excuse me for not knowing this apparently crucial piece of information.

    I'll be sure to run right out and buy all their albums tomorrow for you guys. :rolleyes:
     
  15. #15
    [Darken Hybrid]

    [Darken Hybrid] Ambient

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    I like it! :lol: LOL
     
  16. #16
    elie

    elie Well-Known Member

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    it was supposed to be something someone would have to analyze beyond surface level....
     
  17. #17
    Cal

    Cal LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    it was cool cept from

    Limp Bizkit? What happend to Fred Durst?
    Someone tell that angered child to try and rehearse
    The only real talent in the band dropped out like a bird from the sky
    Now the band resorts to the musical stylings of "Love us or die!"
     
  18. #18
    elie

    elie Well-Known Member

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    What happened, did you not understand that part? A little critique would help me understand the situation, and help my writing of the next part of this song..
     

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