Funny Facts

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by Gloomy Mushroom, Aug 7, 2010.

  1. #1
    Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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  2. #2
    hawk

    hawk because the internet LPA Super VIP

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    I did it three times, this is what I got.

    No matter what your mother always said, Joseph can tune a fish.
    There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Joseph.
    Joseph doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    That last one is so true.
     
  3. #3
    Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    Sarah once bet NASA she could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Sarah re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes her a beer.
     
  4. #4
    minuteforce

    minuteforce Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrance. LPA Team

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    The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs minuteforce. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

    I love AVP. ;D
     
  5. #5
    hawk

    hawk because the internet LPA Super VIP

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    Hawk can delete the Recycling Bin.

    Hawk can drown a fish.

    Hawk was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Hawk allows to live.

    There is no Control button on Hawk's computer. Hawk is always in control.

    Hawk doesn't go hunting.... Hawk goes killing.

    Hawk can divide by zero.

    I love that website.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2010
  6. #6
    minuteforce

    minuteforce Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrance. LPA Team

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    Half of them are just Chuck Norris facts. But sh*t is hilarious. :lol:
     
  7. #7
    El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    In the medical community, death is referred to as "El Muerto Disease"

    hahahah :)
     
  8. #8
    Manu

    Manu Seeking tenderness with a dagger

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    When Emanuel sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Emanuel has not had to pay taxes, ever.



    This thing knows too much.
     
  9. #9
    ChuckCheese

    ChuckCheese Did somebody order some cheese? LPA VIP

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    In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly was because they knew Cookie Monster was coming.
    Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Cookie Monster needs toothpicks.
    Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Cookie Monster pajamas.
    Cookie Monster doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
     
  10. #10
    Dean

    Dean LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Dean needed a back scratcher.
     
  11. #11
    Benjamin

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    Bullets dodge Ben
     
  12. #12
    Manu

    Manu Seeking tenderness with a dagger

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    Manu does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

    Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Manu's kindergarten class.
     
  13. #13
    Jeff

    Jeff WORSHIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    (yes my name is Jeff Lauer in case you are wondering who the hell that dude is who I am posting

    Jeff Lauer is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

    Jeff Lauer can slam a revolving door.


    Jeff Lauer's first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.


    Jeff Lauer died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

    Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Jeff Lauer will beat his ass and take it.

    He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Jeff Lauer, dies.

    When Jeff Lauer looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Jeff Lauer and Jeff Lauer.

    Jeff Lauer sleeps with a night light. Not because Jeff Lauer is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Jeff Lauer.

    When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Jeff Lauer.


    Jeff Lauer once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Jeff Lauer re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2010
  14. #14
    Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    Some people say that Sarah is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.

    He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Sarah dies.

    Superman owns a pair of Sarah pajamas.
     
  15. #15
    Mitch

    Mitch YTB

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    Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Mitch.
     
  16. #16
    ana

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    most of the facts are from chuck norris xD

    Ana cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Ana says.
    When you say "no one's perfect", Ana takes this as a personal insult.
    Ana can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
    Ana destroyed the periodic table, because Ana only recognizes the element of surprise.
     
  17. #17
    Jeff

    Jeff WORSHIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    Yes, I went there :lol:

    Superman owns a pair of Mike Shinoda pajamas.

    Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Mike Shinoda likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

    Mike Shinoda's credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

    Mike Shinoda stared evil in the face, and it backed down.

    If you gave Mike Shinoda a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare

    As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Mike Shinoda."

    Mike Shinoda cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Mike Shinoda says.

    Never look a gift Mike Shinoda in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

    Some kids pee their name in the snow. Mike Shinoda can pee his name into concrete.

    Mike Shinoda knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

    In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Mike Shinoda, because Mike Shinoda killed that man.

    The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Mike Shinoda, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.

    Mike Shinoda uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

    When Mike Shinoda plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
     
  18. #18
    Trish

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    In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly was because they knew trish was coming.
     
  19. #19
    Hellions

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    Adam once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.


    fuck yeah

    ...wait....
     
  20. #20
    Dedicated

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    The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Dave in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.




    YES!
     

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