I've been listening to Forgotten a lot the last few days, so I figured I would do my own remix of it. Hope you like it "Forgotten: Remix" Forgotten at the bottom The top's a long way up No one there to save me My eyes are wide shut I wanna leave this place behind me But no picture's there Where do I run to? And why should I care? I'm trapped in a place full of old memories A place so dark I can't see the rain falling on me Trapped in a world that's rusted and rotten I've tried remembering where I am but I've forgotten Steel and concrete and garbage crammed into cans That take me back to a time where it all began When I take a look around all I can see Is the perpetual motion of wheels in the streets If I listen close I can hear the sound Of a groaning population and it's wearing me down There's nothing to resort to but some paper and pen I write down these lines and I can look back at them I can read them over and over again And hope that all of this crumpled up mess will be perfect again Forgotten at the bottom The top's a long way up No one there to save me My eyes are wide shut I wanna leave this place behind me But no picture's there Where do I run to? And why should I care? In my memories I see me My mind burning up I'm hoping the darkness will release me And I can watch the sun rise up I walk on down a nameless street in the loneliness of night The sidewalk in front of me awash in light From the dim streetlights overhead comes a pale yellow glow And on the opposite side of the street, light shines through a window I can't push away these acidic questions Even with all the power of suggestion I figure that if I keep on moving on around Maybe I can forget all the sights and sounds Of concrete and metal, debris and trash Of old empty alleyways and forgotten paths People who don't live but exist They go from one day to another and they're all like this Maybe there's a part of this picture I missed Maybe I'll ease open my eyes and see The world I've wanted right there in front of me Forgotten at the bottom The top's a long way up No one there to save me My eyes are wide shut I wanna leave this place behind me But no picture's there Where do I run to? And why should I care? In my memories I see me My mind burning up I'm hoping the darkness will release me And I can watch the sun rise up
i think that it's clear that you've sort of ... put parts of the first verse in the second verse and vice versa. plus, you've got 2 extra lines in the first verse. overall, though, i like it. "my eyes are wide shut" - what does that mean?