(DLLD 2) Fallen Again.

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by The Emptiness Machine, May 6, 2010.

  1. #1
    The Emptiness Machine

    The Emptiness Machine Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Part II to Dreaming lovers as lovers dreaming.

    Fallen Again.

    When you said you loved me
    Baby, it was better than the greatest dream
    But now I know again, how it feels to be lied to
    And it's such a familiar sting
    These things that I thought were real are now vanishing
    And it just proves I'm an angel with broken wings

    The glass shattered in the darkness
    And I've stepped on every piece
    And every comfort is now the blood I bleed
    I try to hide it that I love you, baby
    And I hate it when you say my name
    What it makes me feel, I can't deny it
    I'm still just a fallen angel with broken wings

    Try not to be too angry but all I see are tears
    And I can't stop from drowning in their stream
    And if you were ever honest, honest
    You'd never know how much it'd mean
    I'm sorry I can't help but to want you
    Like a bird can't help to sing

    Maybe I was too open
    Maybe it's not meant to be
    Maybe what we were waiting for
    Was a killer bee
    And though you were all I was waiting for
    I was just meant to feel your sting
    Cause I'm a fallen angel with broken wings.
     
  2. #2
    Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    It has good flow. :)

    It might be kinda useful to use periods in place of the next line. It's sometimes confusing :)

    "Try not to be too angry but all I see are tears
    And I can't stop from drowning in their stream
    And if you were ever honest, honest
    You'd never know how much it'd mean
    I'm sorry I can't help but to want you
    Like a bird can't help to sing
    "

    That was a beautiful verse, i must say. I really liked that.

    "The glass shattered in the darkness
    And I've stepped on every piece
    And every comfort is now the blood I bleed"

    I also liked this. It just tells of discomfort from what used to be comforting. Love is fragile, and so is glass. Once either is shattered, the pain of each is one that we all bleed.

    Ah, I really enjoyed the two parts of this.

    A good use of the angel and broken wings. The first of proof of reality, the second of inner-despair, the third of inferiority, used, and shame.
    A give/take part was here.
    "I try to hide it that I love you, baby

    The "it" looks and sounds out of place imo. But thats an opinion. so eyeah..

    Bravo. :)
     

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