Djinni's Resolve. (Or How to Destroy Dreams.)

Destroyed: everyone but you are stupid

I wish it was April 4th

 

Wish Granted: You may now experience both Captain America and The Elder Scrolls Online it all of their glory.

I wish that I was an eagle.

 

Destroyed: You become a seagull

I wish I could fly

 

Granted: You can now fly as you please.

I wish I could watch Hannibal netflix style.

 

Granted, Netflix now just casts the all user's TV related dreams.

I wish I had a car

 

Granted. Any car you want for an affordable discount.

I wish for THREE MORE WISHES

 

Destroyed: You simply cannot wish for three more wishes. So NO!

I wish I'd do as well on my grammar exam as I did on my phonetics exam!

 

Granted: You do better than you did on any exam previously.

I wish you'd give my Katana back...

 

Destroyed: It's mine now

I wish I had Pokemon Y!

 

Destroyed: You have a Chinese ripoff called Pokemon? Why!?

I wish I had a private Jet big enough to live in.

 

Destroyed. The private jet is the most uncomfortable, tiny piece of crap you've ever seen.

I wish for ice cream.

 

Granted. You get a strawberry/chocolate ice cream with whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles on the top and a little umbrella for no reason. Obviously a beautiful, red-headed, pale, green-eyed, swedish girl brings you your ice cream and she leaves her phone number on the napkin.

I wish I could go to the Linkin Park concert.

 

Destroyed: You go to a LP concert and LP bring out your most hated artists to play while they laugh at you.

I wish I had a Vita.

 

Wish Destroyed: You win tickets to a Linkin Park show, but unfortunately, all the band members fall ill, causing Limp Bizkit taking their place on the Carnivores Tour.

I wish that I had a high end gaming PC.

 

What. The. Fuck?! xD

Granted: You win the lottery and is able to assemble a computer with the latest hardware

I wish my headache would disappear

 

Destroyed, your head explodes.

I wish Donna could remember

 

Wish destroyed. Everyone remembers but you forget.

I wish she'd stop drinking so much...

 

Granted, she no longer needs it.

I wish I didn't need a job.

 

Granted. You don't need a job anymore, because it turns out there is a team of Polish banknote forgers hiding away in your basement, with all the necessary equipment to print real money of any kind. You effectively take charge of the team and they willingly start making you money in exchange for food, water and an hour of sunlight a day.

I wish I could type faster.

 

It came true! Well kind of

Granted, A thousand words a minute!

I wish life was easier