Divorce

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by _diana_, Oct 25, 2004.

  1. #21
    Unforgiver

    Unforgiver jogo bonito.

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2004
    Messages:
    684
    Likes Received:
    0



    Have you read the rest of the thread?

    What if the husband turns out to be abusive? Or what if two people who were really compatible from 20 - 30 suddenly find themselves not so attracted to each other's personalities at 35 or 40? How can you really forsee that? [/b][/quote]
    yes, I read that part, but I think people should get married because there is love between each other, not because the guy found attractive the woman. And when things don't work out, then there is a problem like you said "Do you think you'll be the same person at 50 that you are at 20?" or "what if the guy turns abusive", you are right about that couples should try to work out their troubles instead of divorcing.

    Well, that is what I think, 'cause I am not married.
     
  2. #22
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2003
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0



    yes, I read that part, but I think people should get married because there is love between each other, not because the guy found attractive the woman. And when things don't work out, then there is a problem like you said "Do you think you'll be the same person at 50 that you are at 20?" or "what if the guy turns abusive", you are right about that couples should try to work out their troubles instead of divorcing.

    Well, that is what I think, 'cause I am not married. [/b][/quote]
    well the world isnt all that perfect, something you obviously dont understand.
     
  3. #23
    Futuristic

    Futuristic Member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2004
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0



    I think it's better to come to terms that your marriage won't work, than to deny it and live in unhappiness. I don't see anything wrong with divorce- i know that a marriage is supposed to last forever, but staying together because you feel you have to seems wrong. As for "staying together for the kids", think about it- if you were a kid, would you rather go through the pain of a divorce, or live in a house where your parents don't love each other?
     
  4. #24
    salinameteora

    salinameteora Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0



    does anyone ele think that the reason we believe that "marriage" is meant to be forever is because we are brought up being told fairy stories where once you meet your true love, you will both live "happily ever after" and the idealism of this is far better than the reality of you marry, you argue, you fight, there is no servants or enchanted castle only the both of you working hard to pay off the 25yr mortgage you have, and more than likely end up hating each other and not talking to each other except through your lawyer?
     
  5. #25
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2003
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0



    you actually have a really good point. people grow up with someone telling them how when you get married its the greatest thing in the world, its magical, and special. so they rush into it (i.e. britney spears, jennifer lopez), they dont really think it through. and psh, dont expect them to stay together. even people with half a brain would realize most marriages like that wont work out.
     
  6. #26
    salinameteora

    salinameteora Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0



    maybe the norm these days is being single and marriage is the abnorm! but thats a good point about even celebs rushing in i.e twitney how old is she and already on her second marriage and as for ms lopez? a brain cell wouldnt go amiss there,would it! :rolleyes:
     
  7. #27
    Whimsicality

    Whimsicality I broke the dam.

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2003
    Messages:
    2,788
    Likes Received:
    0



    That is a very good point.
     
  8. #28
    Mark

    Mark Canadian Beauty LPA Administrator

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2002
    Messages:
    24,861
    Likes Received:
    388



    Divorce in the case of abuse, absolutely.
    Divorce if it doesn't affect your children, absolutely.

    Many people rush into marraiges, and also rush into divorces. I believe if two people can no longer connect, then yes, divorce should follow suit. But it has to be unselfish.

    If you have children, a divorce can affect them dramatically. Fighting in front of a child is also traumatizing. When kids are being yanked between houses, and sometimes not even permitted to see their father/mother, they can become insociable and troubled. This does not happen all the time, but the mental impact on a kid (mostly teens) that his/her parents no longer love each other can impact hard, they sometimes shoulder the blame and become depressed and angry. If it benefits the child, by all means, go ahead. But if your children will suffer because of it, then keep the anger behind closed doors and try to work together, for the sake of the kid.
     
  9. #29
    Garfield

    Garfield Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0



    I thing marige is the most stupid thing in the world. If people love each other and want to live together, the paper is just a formaliti, but when they get sick of each other they can't get awy that easy. My dads family made him mary my mum cause they don't think it's ok to date. My dad is abusive and we can't get ride of him 'cause he doesn't want to get devorced so he can fight with my mum. They hate each other and they would be better of without each other. My grandpa used to bitup my grandma and he bit's anyone who is related to him and visits him. His an alcoholich. My dads part of the family is like that and they don't belive in divorce cause they are "good" catholics
     
  10. #30
    Garfield

    Garfield Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0



    when my parents almost got divorced I didn't want my dad to go awy. Biggest mistake of my life. The more he grows old, the more abusive he gets.
     
  11. #31
    Mark

    Mark Canadian Beauty LPA Administrator

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2002
    Messages:
    24,861
    Likes Received:
    388



    when my parents almost got divorced I didn't want my dad to go awy. Biggest mistake of my life. The more he grows old, the more abusive he gets. [/b][/quote]
    Don't double post.

    Again, if the man (or woman) is abusive, the divorce should happen. As I said.
     
  12. #32
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2003
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0



    Garfield: you could always call the police, since abuse is illegal.

    it might be pretty stupid, but marraige benefits are also a reason why people get married. which is a huge reason why homosexuals want that right as well.
     
  13. #33
    the_face_inside

    the_face_inside Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2004
    Messages:
    512
    Likes Received:
    0



    my parents got separeted when i was three and i can tell you that divorce really hurts kids' hearts. even though i'm grown now, i really feel that there's a missin'part of me and that's familly life!
     
  14. #34
    Dean

    Dean LPA Addict LPA Addict

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    18,858
    Likes Received:
    0



    My parents aren't divorced, but they may as well be. It's saddening when I think about it, but you learn to live with it.
    I don't see much point in marriage unless you're after some of the benefits... citizenship and the like. Then again, I think there are certain religions where you have to be married to be an item with someone.
     
  15. #35
    .Kevin

    .Kevin Super Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,837
    Likes Received:
    0



    I think divore isn'ta bad thing when the sitation is ver bad why would you stay together
     
  16. #36
    Garfield

    Garfield Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0



    where I live the police doesn't do much. My mum told me that if she calls the police they wont take my dad away, they'll just warn him about disturbing the peace. The police isn't efective.
     
  17. #37
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2003
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0



    where I live the police doesn't do much. My mum told me that if she calls the police they wont take my dad away, they'll just warn him about disturbing the peace. The police isn't efective. [/b][/quote]
    god, where do you live? :wth:

    but i mean, if hes been continuously abusive and you tell the police that, then maybe theyll be able to get him away from you, at least a restraining order or something.
     
  18. #38
    Garfield

    Garfield Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0



    god, where do you live? :wth:

    but i mean, if hes been continuously abusive and you tell the police that, then maybe theyll be able to get him away from you, at least a restraining order or something. [/b][/quote]
    In my country the police don't even know the law about abuse in the familly. They just say that it's disturbing the paece. It was in the paper a few times that the police is useless. I think they wouldn't even bother if they got a call and someone told them that someone is mentaly abuseing him. I know that everything would be graet if my parents get divorced, but the problem is that they both have to sing it, and my dad doesn't want to do it.
    Tha's how it usualy is. The abusive one doesn't want to sign. My mum was stupid and she did what her parents told her. She could have just lived with my dad so she could kikck him out when they stop loving each other, but now, even if they get divorced, the apartmant belonges to both of them so my dad could go one living here, and that wouldn't solve anything.
     

Share This Page