Why must life suck so much? Seriously, I have had a lot of good things happen to me like I have a boyfriend, I go to a lot of concerts, I own a car, I have lots of friends (mostly guys though) and I get semi-good grades at school. Yet, I think life sucks and I'm always depressed. Although, I think my home life triggers my depression. Have you ever felt that you were happy but yet your not really happy? I hate that feeling. I can be having the best time of my life doing something fun and I still won't be truly happy in my mind. Anyone feel like me? I really scare myself sometimes. I think about death and wanting to die a lot. Anyone else, besides me, do that? I feel lost in this crazy world. Most of the time I don't even know why I am here. How can someone be happy? I'm sorry if this post is a waste, but I'm going through some tough times personally.
The first thing I have to say is this: Suicide will solve nothing. Period. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You might not think things will get better, but they will. If you constantly sit there and say things won't get better, then they won't get better. I'm depressed sometimes, yeah. In fact, I haven't been all that happy for the past month or so. But I know that things won't always be bad. I've got my whole life in front of me. That's plenty of time to be happy. I'm only 16½. I can't expect things to be peachy all the time. I'm not a social person. I've never had a girlfriend. I'm shy around girls. I don't really have much of a life. It makes me depressed, yeah, but I know that my future is ahead of me so I don't have to worry about feeling depressed all the time. I've never once thought about suicide, no matter how bad anything has ever gotten. Even if I never get married or never have kids or never have a good job, I'll never think about comitting suicide, because it's really not worth it. I had a friend who thought no one cared about him and that no one loved him, so he killed himself. Come to find out, there were 2 girls that liked him (that he liked) that were just too shy to talk to him. So he killed himself for nothing. What good does that do? Nothing. All you have to do is think positive.
I do think about suicide but I would never do it. I couldn't see myself killing myself. I know things will get better, it's just a matter of time. It's just complicated. I just needed to get my thoughts out.
That post isn't a waste at all. I think that happiness takes a real effort. I haven't been so happy myself for the past few months (although I wouldn't say depressed, not by a stretch), lonely as hell. I moved last August and I have one actual friend, plus a few people I'm friendly with. But, despite that I consider myself a happy person, because you have to train yourself to think that, really, it's gonna be okay. It won't happen overnight, but just keep reminding youself just that--it's gonna be okay. Even if life sucks now, you're what, 16? You've got so much time ahead of you. Anything that happens now doesn't really matter, when it comes down to it. Try talking to someone who's close to you. I know it sounds like such a typical and cliche answer, but...They know you better then we do, and they can probably help more.
Depression. What to say about depression. I'm probably the one feeling the most depression in this forum. I mean, so many things happened to me all at once, and at such a young age too. I feel this sadness for every little thing. I mean, if someone doesn't say goodbye I end up going into this deep depression thinking that I'm not worth saying goodbye to and not worth talking to. I'm very sensitive. I sometimes get confused with my feelings. At times I would think I am happy but later find out that that's not what I was feeling. I also look back at things to see what could of been changed. In my mind, whenever something good happens to me, something really bad comes in return. That's why I get scared at times to take risks at something good. I don't want to risk another thing happening to me or my family or anything. At times I believe happiness is just a lie. Like a fairy tale. Something that we as little children look up to and wish we had. But will never truly get. Yes, I have thought of suicide. But I haven't the strength to do it myself. Rather, I end up provoking others to do the deed for me. And doing things that could cause my demise. They say the teenage years are the worst since they are in the top percentile of suicides. As teenagers, we don't have much experience. And for that, we do the wrong things at times and suffer the consequences. And for this, others will suffer. It's our stupidity that gets to us. The more knowledge you get the more you will understand. The more you will know about getting true happiness. To me, depression isn't something that could be fixed with a pill. (Like Zoloft) You have to fight your inner demons. You have to search for the good in you. Search for this happiness that has been waiting for you all these years. Depression has gotten the better of me. I ended up going into denial. Walking around with a big smile on my face. Not letting anyone know the thoughts in my head. Hell, not even my journal has the vivid thoughts in my head. I just wish they would go away. I just want the future to come already. I just want happiness to come already. I'm through with searching. I'm tired of it. I just want it come already. Lots of rambling... sorry..
I feel that way, a lot. I don't quite get it, because I don't believe in fates or whatever, but whenever I'm on a real high (no, not that kind of high) I always think "I wonder how long before it all crashes down again?"
I agree with a lot of things said in here and I relate to a heap of it. My life is filled with ups and downs (mainly good things now that my main problem has gone). The main reason why I feel depressed a lot is because of my home life and school. I think that a lot as well. It’s probably because if something good does happen, it always f**ks up or something bad happens.
Depression is something bad, but it's all in your mind. You can get into it and get out of it by yourself, but if it's really bad you can take drugs for that. In fact, it's an health condition caused by your emotional one... And it's widely spread, more than ever teenagers are depressive. But is that that we just go down as soon as we have a problem? Or is life really harder than it was? I don't know, and I'm still looking for the answer.
As Will said, suicide wont solve anything you'll still be unhappy in heaven Sometimes i had my depression times. Let me tell the story I was in love with a girl for a year or so. She knew that, but i was too shy to ask her. So.. what did she? She dated my best friend, who knew it also Then, i was depressed for 5months or so. I wanted to kill myself. If they were around me and they were hugging and stuff, they asked me: ' Why are you so depressed? ' :wth: Stupid b*tch And now, she's my best friend.. allthough i dont see her around much.. Last month i had a depressed time, dont know why :wth: and to be honest.. i only had 3,4 girls in my life.. because im a shy mogo..
i had my depression time as well.... but what i have noticed that lots of LP fans still have it or at least had it once... i wonder if lp's lyrics is the reason touched that kind of people besides their great music...i mean lp's lyrics dont sound very positive though meteora it was but HT displays how we sometimes feel ....
I feel that way, a lot. I don't quite get it, because I don't believe in fates or whatever, but whenever I'm on a real high (no, not that kind of high) I always think "I wonder how long before it all crashes down again?" [/b][/quote] Same here. It just feels like whenever I get a good break...something happens that just brings it all crashing down. I've dealt with depression, I went though some hard times and stuff. Last year, I was mildly suicidal. I never thought to kill myself...just what would happen if I went away sometime...or something like that. I dont think that suicide is the answer to all of my problems. Its amazing how much you might miss life once its gone, you know? I havent really had that many boyfriends. Its not even the fact that I'm shy...Im usually the first one out of my friends to do something daring...or the first one to sing a solo in choir or talk to a guy. Guys in my town just don't like me. I don't get it...alot of my friends just tell me they're shy...but I dont believe any of it. But I know that, like Will said, I have the rest of my life in front of me to deal with that stuff and meet new people. ..sorry about the rambling...
I hate you people. (I mean this as no harm) You all get depressed for reasons that are actually worth getting depressed over. Don't get me? Let me explain: See, most of you, from what I know, get depressed over things like, losing someone by death or having someone not feel for you the way you feel for them. While, I, just being myself, get depressed over the "little" things. I get depressed over not being said hello. If a friend is talking to someone I don't know. If that person I don't know doesn't bother to say hello, I end up thinking something is wrong with me. Back at Elementary, I was the kid who got into depression when I got one answer wrong in a spelling test. Do you know what that is like? Every little thing? How the hell can I live life like this? I get depressed over things said online. You have no idea how much you guys affect me. I'm surprised I haven't gone mad already. I can't imagine losing someone. I just know that will my limit. Once someone dies, that's it - I'm going mad. Just send me to the mental institution..
Hmm. I went through a very big depressive period last year. I was seriously thinking about the whole suicide thing and my friends were getting real worried. I got all depressed over nothing and made a big deal over anything that went wrong. I look back on it now and think 'What the f**k was i getting so worked up about'. I still get depressed from time to time but nowhere near as much. I know how bad it feels to be like that day in day out. It is not nice. Advice to depressed people : Don't let it get you down cuz everything will turn out ok in the end. It did for me so look on the positive side of things. I have gained alot more friends since i became un-depressed.
When i was young i used to dream of being rich But now im so confused i dont know which road is which No-matter when your sad and blue Theres always someone who has it worse than you And never listen to what they say Your always gonna have your better days Theres always hope To help you carry on Just never give up And theres always hope When you need something to hold you up And its hope That keeps me moving on During life theres always going to be struggle But when your life is bad you can be sure of a bright tomorrow All the harsh realities in your life will bring you down But at the end of every rainbow theres always what you want Everything you want isnt everything you need Peoples dreams are always percivered by greed? Theres always hope To help you carry on Just never give up And theres always hope When you need something to hold you up And its hope That keeps me moving on Are you prepared to follow or are you set out to lead Whatever your future you can always succeed One thing i can promise you is keep on working through Theres always going to be a better day Sometimes money dosnt matter Sometimes less is more Theres always hope To help you carry on Just never give up And theres always hope When you need something to hold you up And its hope That keeps me moving on
:chemist: So many serious topics now... I kinda like it. Yeah, I was going to type up this semi-long story of mine about depression but I would just be rambling so yeah. But anyway, whenever I get depressed, I just think about Chester. From what I understand, he's been through a sh*tload of problems in his life and look at him now. He's doing what he loves, he has a wife, and he's got a beautiful baby boy. In the end (yeah, I know, LP line), things do get better.
But see, that is depression. Depression is a disease. It doesn't need to be triggered by anything at all. I myself am I prone to get it in my late teens (family thing) which is part of the reason I try so hard to stay positive now--making good habits, you know? www.depression.com
So Lorn, being depressed about little things makes you the one who has more depression than the rest of us? I'm not saying this to be rude, but something like that kind of irks me. This is depression we're talking about. Why must we compete about a disease? I've had depression since I can remember. School was a complete hell for me since not only do I have dysthymia, but I was born with another disease called Tuberous Sclerosis. People would constantly make fun of me and I could never understand why. It started once I started school, so I never understood until I was older. By then, I was thinking the reason why people didn't want to be my friend/talk to me/be even near me or cringe at my touch was because I was ugly. I was this hideous thing to them. On top of all this, I had been sexually abused when I was five years old. My Father used to drink a lot and has gotten into a lot of car accidents. There's also a lot of holes in our walls that had to be refilled because of his drunken rages. He smokes weed, which to some people might not be bad, but he said he wouldn't quit for anybody. My Brother has done hard drugs, and was constantly abused by my father. In fact, we all were. My Brother had it worse, though. The most friends I've had was possibly one or two at the time, but I hadn't really felt like I had somebody to talk to. I hadn't felt suicidal until the 9th grade, and in the 10th grade I went to the mental health clinic to see what was wrong with me. The mental health clinic in our hospital in town is pratically a second home to me. I'd been going there for years for anger management and thereapy sessions when I was young enough to play with the toys while my Mom spoke for me. I didn't really have Mom to talk to, because she never really saw my point of view. I don't hate her for this, though. I understand looking after my Father because he's like a big kid that she has to dress and all that. So, I talked to Grammie. She knew everything before anybody else did. She knew I had been sexually abused before anybody and so on. She knew I wasn't happy by looking at me. My Dad laughed when I said I wasn't happy, and didn't know why. Grammie was different, she was concerned. She'd take me out town, she'd take me to the valley or Lunenburg. And then she had a stroke while I went on vacation this past summer, and passed away on Oct. 13, 2003. I've done the digging, had my Dad threaten to beat the #### out of me if he saw them again. I've contimplated the cutting but I don't think I could withstand feeling a blade running across my skin. As for taking too much medication; I accidently had too much cough syrup but I didn't do that intentionally. It was kind of nice to feel numb over the holidays, though, since it was the first one without Grammie. I'm not saying all this as pity, I'm saying this to share. There's so much more I can get into, like about feelings and things like that. But if you think going through it is worse, try having the one you love go through it as well - and you can't help. It's hard. I've cried so much for them, and it hurts to know you could tell them till your face turns blue how much you care but it doesn't work. Recently with this place my Grandmother had shown me in the paper called SSWAP, I've been able to get through a lot of things due to a life skills class. I've opened up a lot more and people know the real me. I've not only been able to make more friends and be more social (things that have been painful to do in the past - and still are in some ways), I've managed to have a job placement at CD Plus. Without this place, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. Plus, with the help of my therapist, I've been able to come a long way with my dysthymia as well. It's good to have somebody to spill your emotions to that you don't understand, and they make sense out of them. Don't get me wrong, there are days I don't want to get out of bed or even want to wake up. But I make myself because I've been stuck in this room for too long. I spent two years hiding away in front of my computer, doing nothing but wasting time. I could've been out getting a job and a lisence, but I don't hate myself for it. I was insecure, I was scared, and people knew that. I haven't heard anybody say anything rude in my direction in a while now, not like I usually do. Now I'm attempting my second job placement and this spring, hopefully going for my lisence. My advice I guess, would be to not give up. Hard to say coming from somebody who's kind of stuck in the middle, but I understand where you're coming from. I'm not going to say I know how you feel, because I get angry when people tell me that. If you're that overwhelmed, try getting some help. I'm trying to get my friend to do this as well, but I understand I can only push and shove so much and they won't budge if they don't want to. Same goes for you. But it really helps, and it also untangles those knots you have in your stomach all the time. I think this is the longest post I've ever made.
Man, I tried to stay away from this thread, but I can't help it. You guys aren't alone, and I guess I should share my half, heh. My situation is a bit bizarre, because what should have happened to me, happened to someone else. In my situation right now, like Lorn, things are happening to me all at once, and it does get overwhelming. I just want to say, first off, Lorn, you're not alone... I feel the same way you do about depression, and I am going through some the same things you are but not 100% exactly like you. Throughout my life, I've been used for the things I have, weither it be video games, or whatever. I used to be a top-notch student in school, so my parents would give me something if I did super good, thusly creating 'friendship' bonds between me and other people. They used to come over to my house ONLY for the video games and what-not. At that time, I didn't know I was being used like that. As I grew older, into like, middle school (junior high), I noticed people taking advantage of the way I did things for people because I like to help. I've been taught to really help out those in need and just do it from the heart. Hell, even my own school took advantage of that. But anyways, 2003 was a striking year for me and just shot me down over and over again. In 2003, I suffered the loss of two pets, a grandmother, an aunt and a close old friend. They all died unfairly, in my opinion, and it was just a beginning. Now, I usually don't get too personal here, but for the reason I assume we're taking this thread seriously, here's a devistation for all kids: My parents have been having hard times, and it's been going on for a long, long time. My parents are literally on the brink of divorce, but as some may think, 'it's not so bad,' it's been going on for a little more than 6 years. My mom moved out of the house when I was about nine or ten because she and my dad needed 'space,' which really hurt me and sent me into probably the first huge depression stage. So for the next few years I tried to cope with it... When I hit Freshman year in high school, everything in my life changed. Through out my life, I used to be the guy you could go to to talk or ask for help from. And all of a sudden, moving into high school, all of the changed, and I became the school's number one enemy. I'm not over-exadurating when I say this... Literally everyone in school singled me out. So in Freshman year, I was beat up, aggrovated, teased and shunned by school mates. Now in Sophomore year, all of that's increased, and now teachers are beginning to label me, and make me feel like crap. I even lost all the 'friends' I had. They disassociated themselves from even my own presents, and I've had to suffer sitting alone at lunch and at the reccess periods. I could never go to my parents. They never understood. They think they do, but they don't. I don't think you can treat depression, as Lorn said. I mean, you can take medication, yeah, but medication doesn't perminantly solves the problem, in time it just makes you forget it, but at any time, it can come back. Again, like Lorn, everytime something nice happens to me, I get hit with something bad twice as hard, and it's usually in result to the good thing. People have no idea how much they mean to me, and unlike others, I take every conversation for all it's worth and more. See, being shunned for a year dropped my social abilities so much, I can't carry on conversations anymore in person. I tend to blank out and I end up just going away or something. I can no longer look at people if I'm talking to them, and I can't even actually interact that well at all with others. Whenever someone greets me, I don't say anything back, maybe a small smirk or a nod, but that's all, and I feel guilty because I feel I shouldn't make it feel like I'm rejecting them. But then it's like, they don't know at the same time how much that greeting made me feel. Sometimes, there are days when I talk to absolutely no one, not even online, and I get really, really depressed, and then people tell me that I'm freaking insane. Which really helps me in no possible way. After calling me insane, they suggest I find people to talk to... People have tried to help me. I've gone to a psychologist before, and he's told my parents and me that there was no way around my depression and I have to face it on my own. See, unlike a lot of depressed kids, I'm aware of all my actions even when I'm depressed, and calling hotlines and going to websites doesn't affect me because I already know everything that's said. They'll tell you "I know exactly how you feel; I went through the same thing," but it's not true. I mean, they haven't walked like you, talked like you, seen what you've seen, heard what you've heard, so how can they tell you that they know EXACTLY what you're going through? They can tell you they know about it, but not that they know the exact emotions. Anyways, so in 2003, I suffered numerous deaths, been singled out by peers, and have major family problems. Why not be depressed? But for some reason, I keep fighting it. I fight the urge to end my life. It hit me even harder when my friend from long ago committed suicide. He did it for the similar reasons. After his death, my problems got worse, kids hurt me more physically and mentally, and I broke down and made some threats and sort of just blew my lid. I stayed home from school for the rest of the week that time, and when I returned to school, I was emotionless. What should have happened to me, happened to someone who deserved to live more than I did. He was a great person, and he had more going for him, but the depression got the best of him, and he decided to kill himself. But my problems would have been better if they were parallel and never intersected, but recently they did. My mom's lack of care caused my future school career to shatter because of lack of parental support, so I asked to take a new step to get away from the problems. The step I took is what I hope, will end majority of the depression building up in my life. I can no longer stand being stared at and no one saying a word to me... It's so hurtful, and it sucks when people intentionally make fun of me and don't take me serious. I mean, even my own relatives think I'm a Satanic worshiper (they're heavy Christians) and don't allow me to eat with them. I have to eat OUTSIDE. Now tell me that isn't messed up. For anyone who tells me to wait... As my Health teacher poorly put it, I want to die for a few months. It's been 6 f**king years, when do I get a damn break? I mean, kids think I'm a virus, adults think I'm useless, I need a break. The only thing that keeps me sane are people who have been there for me (who don't even live by me). The internet is my only safe haven (for more of the time), and in some ways, that's a bad sign, but I can't help it... I don't have many to turn to anymore. Also, it's hard to go on when your parents tell you they're beginning to give up on you :\. I don't blame them for thinking that way, but they don't need to tell me that... Anyways, sorry to bring down so much negativity and a long fricken post, but when I get into it, I get into it. I hope you guys find ways to deal with your depression. It's always good to talk about it. I am a good listener, so like, somehow get in contact with me, and I'd be more than happy to listen in on what's bugging you . I've been around depression for so long, I know the feelings like the back of my palm, lol. Another way to try to patch up your depression, as much as you may hate it, associate yourself with comedy for awhile. For me, joking around with people kind of eases me up abit. Try it. As I just did. I laughed... With the "lol," you know... It might work wonders!