Depression / Living in a dark place

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Pat, Mar 25, 2018.

  1. #1
    Pat

    Pat LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    Hey community,
    some minutes ago i started a massive and bad conversation on the Post Traumatic Remix Contest thread.
    And I am more than sorry.

    I would love to explain you my point of view why i did this - intentionally.

    Yes you read right, - intentionally...

    For a long time I suffered from massive depression, self-hatred and not being confident that i matter.
    While I fought against it for a long time "successfully", I had an insanely down-phase back in 2013.
    In any case, I fought back and faced my problems as best as i could.

    Now, for whatever reason, I am feeling horrible again
    And it is even worse than 2013. And I do not understand why. I am having a "good life", I could not complain about it. No money problems, I have friends around me but...

    I feel fucking alone guys. I feel horribly lonely and i dont know what to do.
    The reason i started this controversy was just to talk more than just "hello" to someone.
    I dont know what to do. Please give me any advice because i am currently more than ashamed to admit to my close ones that i have a massive problem. With myself.

    Telling you this directly is a big step for me because i cant handle this anymore and everything gets out of hand. i dont have any grip at all anymore.
    Help.
     
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  2. #2
    Derek

    Derek LPAssociation.com Administrator LPA Administrator

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    Pat, as someone who has suffered from depression...if it's bringing anger issues then you need to go see a therapist. The first step is admitting you have a problem, which you did. Now you gotta work to do something about it.
     
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  3. #3
    TV

    TV tov LPA Super VIP

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    I still see a counselor and psychiatrist. I have mental illnesses also and many people on LPA do. The great thing here is that no one judges people for their problems here (as far as my experience goes). The problems in your post are pretty deep and complex... you can always PM about any issues. I will be here.
     
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  4. #4
    Dragondust

    Dragondust anal nathrak, uthvas bethud, do che-ol di-enve. LPA VIP

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    I am disabled from the military with Schizophrenia.... I do deal with depression as well... I find talking about it helps ... I'm also here if you'd like to talk.
     
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  5. #5
    Pat

    Pat LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    Do you know what i mean, when i say - It is really hard to get YOURSELF to the point, saying "Ok, i go to a therapist now" - For some reason its harder than expected. It seems so easy but i just try to avoid it.....even tho its the right thing... I dont know why

    Thank you so much for the offer and I'll definitely come back to this.

    Also to you - thank you for your understanding.

    -------------------------

    Things are not easy recently.
    My brother passed away when i was 16 (9 years ago) - and to be honest, i never really had the chance to.... think about it or do something about it. My mum was (is) very sick and in a fatal condition.
    I always had to think about her first and taking care of her and more. That is always stuck in my head.
    Usually it was not that intense but recently it is, because of my mum being in a horrible condition, making me realize i do not have much time with her left - things catch up on me, knowing i lost my brother and about to lose my mum very soon.
    Feeling very lonely recently and useless make things even worse and i do not really know what to do even tho i know what to do.
     
  6. #6
    b-rady "The Anti-Gibs"

    b-rady "The Anti-Gibs" i really dont like Gibs LPA Super Member

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    Pat, I think I speak for all of us when I say you have a place here to talk to people. While we cannot be a substitute for a therapist, nor should we ever be, many of us are still your friends who care about you. Whether it'd be in the shoutbox, on this thread, or even through direct messages, you shouldn't be afraid to talk to us.

    I'm always open to having a chat if you'd like/need, and sure there are others that feel the same :)
     
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  7. #7
    TV

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    Dealing with losing your brother and then your mother being ill is more than enough to handle. I’m sure being reminded of when your brother passed makes things feel like a steep climb. You might need time for yourself and to also slow down, not trying to juggle more things than you can. At least that’s my opinion. I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, that’s up to you to do at your own pace. I’m really sorry for your situation, and for the loss of your brother, then your mother being sick.
     
  8. #8
    Dekar

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    Hey, it gets better once you overcome yourself. :) You get used to talking about your problems more and more. Just be careful with antidepressants.
     
  9. #9
    Pat

    Pat LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    In case people were interested -
    i got myself to sign up for therapy since some weeks now.

    It did indeed get worse after i wrote here but i think its time to get back up. So off we go
    wish me luck.
     
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  10. #10
    Autumn

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    I'm somehow watching this thread. Good luck. I actually am making a long delayed visit to a psychiatrist today myself...been really struggling since my fiance died. Take care.
     
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