Writing: Decay

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Jesse, Nov 30, 2016.

  1. #1
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Decay

    I'm taking shallow breaths
    My pulse is slowing down
    The world goes out of focus
    Right as I hit the ground
    My eyelids are growing heavy
    While colours become a haze
    I'm losing all coherent thought
    as my memories become a maze
    My body temperature drops
    As cold as the ground on which I lay
    And now I've become an it
    with static history to relay
    decay.
     
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  2. #2
    lime treacle

    lime treacle You are not alone Über Member

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    I like the build-up. The ending is brilliant.

    Keep writing, man!
     
  3. #3
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    @Robert thanks for the positive comment. I am glad that you enjoyed.
     
  4. #4
    Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God Nets 2021 LPA Super VIP

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    Good writing, Jesse
     
  5. #5
    minuteforce

    minuteforce Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrance. LPA Team

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  6. #6
    Decay

    Decay Well-Known Member

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    I'm flattered.

    On a serious note, though: nice writing!
     
  7. #7
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Thank you @Tony V. and @Decay for your kind words.

    It's just like @minuteforce to only come in the thread to tag @Decay and not leave any comments or criticism. :jesse:
     
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  8. #8
    Decay

    Decay Well-Known Member

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    OR... He tagged the title of your poem, man.
     
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