Covenant Marriages

Whimsicality · Feb 16, 2005

Trying to Strengthen 'I Do' With a More Binding Legal Tie

By RICK LYMAN, The New York Times

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LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (Feb. 14) - In front of more than 5,000 cheering constituents in a North Little Rock sports arena, Gov. Mike Huckabee took the former Janet McCain to be his lawfully wedded wife Monday night, just as he did nearly 31 years ago, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do them part.

This time, although the actual vows were not repeated, the emphasis was clearly on the "until death" pledge.

Upgrading their vows to that of a covenant marriage, a legally binding contract available only in Arkansas, Arizona and Louisiana, the Huckabees hope to jump-start a conservative movement that has shown little sign of moving in recent years. A covenant marriage commits a couple to counseling before any separation and limits divorce to a handful of grounds, like adultery or abuse.

"I know that some people have thought this whole thing is cynical, that it's some sort of marriage-plus or high-octane marriage," Mr. Huckabee, a Republican and a former Baptist minister, said in an interview before the ceremony. "I think people enter into covenant marriage not because they want a super marriage, but because they understand that marriage is fragile."

The Huckabees' ceremony was only the most prominent of a series of events organized over the Valentine's Day weekend by covenant marriage supporters who say they sense that the time is right to reinvigorate their stalled movement.

No state has adopted a covenant marriage law since Arkansas in 2001, while two dozen have considered the idea and declined to embrace it. Even in the three states where it is legal, it is not mandatory and only small numbers of couples have opted for it, somewhere from 1 percent to 2 percent, according to studies.

"Truth is, it's not been much of a movement," said Steven Mintz, co-chairman of the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit organization of academics and clinicians who study family issues.

But now, after President Bush won a victory that many attribute, in part, to his championing of traditional family values, proponents of covenant marriage sense an opportunity and say they can bring to the movement the same energy that opponents of same-sex-marriage brought to outlaw it in 11 states last year.

"The numbers haven't been real high yet," said Len Munsil, president of the Center for Arizona Policy, a conservative religious group, and a strong supporter of covenant marriage. "It did stall a little bit. The debate over same-sex marriage has taken a lot of attention."

Some proponents of covenant marriage say they see the two debates as related, that fighting same-sex marriage is part of a larger effort to strengthen traditional marriage. The event Monday night, held at the Alltel Arena, site of local basketball and hockey games and the occasional concert, was billed as Arkansas's first "Celebration of Marriage." Besides the governor's renewed nuptials there were speeches from national religious leaders and songs by the gospel and pop singer CeCe Winans.

Pastors held aloft signs ("New Life Church") and friends waved to one another from across the cavernous room.

Mr. and Mrs. Huckabee, who met as children in Hope, Ark., and had three children in their three decades of marriage, the only marriage for both, had undergone the pre-ceremony counseling mandated by covenant marriage.

Running across the foot of the stage was a banner reading, "Passion transformation intimacy oneness covenant."

At one point, as the governor was telling the crowd how easy it would be to convert their marriages to covenant ones, a whistle sounded and about two dozen protesters for gay rights rose in the back of the hall, unfurling a banner reading, "Queer equality now."

Governor Huckabee ignored them, the crowd tried to cheer the governor to drown them out and the police arrived to escort them quickly from the hall.

The ceremony itself was quick and bureaucratic. The governor and his wife took the stage along with the Pulaski County clerk, Pat O'Brien.

There was no fresh recitation of the wedding vows, just three simple questions: Had they sought counseling before taking this step? Had they had the proper affidavit notarized? Did they have a copy of their marriage license and that affidavit?

"Yes," the governor said.

Mr. O'Brien reached into his jacket and said, "Well, I just happen to have a stamp here."

He clicked the affidavit once, and that was it. The audience roared to its feet.

Covenant marriage was born out of growing concern about the rise of single-parent families, especially among the poor, and unease among conservatives about no-fault divorce laws, which they say make it too easy to end a marriage.

There is also some embarrassment among religious and political leaders in the Bible Belt that many of its states, including Arkansas, have some of the nation's highest divorce rates.

"We really feel the no-fault culture has been destructive," said Dennis Rainey, president of Family Life, a Christian group based in Little Rock. "There's something wrong when it's easier to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of a contract to buy a used car."

Governor Huckabee preferred, in an interview, to emphasize the financial impact of broken homes.

"If you start adding up the various costs - the costs of child-support enforcement, additional costs in human services, how many kids will go onto food stamps - it all adds up," he said. "With that kind of money, we could pay for a lot of teachers' salaries."

The drive for covenant marriage is part of a broader movement to promote marriage and stable families. Mr. Bush, for example, has included in his new budget more than $200 million for programs that "develop innovative approaches to promote healthy marriages," and to promote "family formation and healthy marriage activities."

But a White House spokesman said the president had taken no position on covenant marriage, which he considers a state issue.

While no one speaks out in favor of more divorces, there are social workers and experts on the family who wonder whether making divorce more difficult will end up hurting children of dysfunctional couples.

"It's a kind of common-sense view among many in the field that continuing dysfunction, conflict-riven marriages is not good for children," Mr. Mintz of the Council on Contemporary Families said.

The first covenant marriage law passed in Louisiana in 1997. It required county clerks to give a choice to those applying for a marriage license to select either a regular license or a covenant one.

Under the covenant, the couples express their intention to remain married for life and agree to premarital counseling from a counselor or member of the clergy, and to seek further counseling before filing for divorce. Also, they are restricted to a handful of legal grounds for divorce; adultery, felony conviction, one year of abandonment, sexual or physical abuse and separation of at least two years.

The law applies not only to those just getting married, but also to married couples who want to upgrade.

A similar law was enacted in Arizona in 1998, although that one, after lengthy legislative debate, included a provision allowing for a quicker divorce if both partners agreed to it.

The Arkansas version, passed in 2001, is similar to the Louisiana one, though it adds to the list of potential grounds for divorce such offenses as habitual drunkenness and "behavior that imposes intolerable indignities."

Steven L. Nock, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia who has been studying covenant marriage for five years, has found that those people who go through it are about a third less likely to divorce. But his studies have also shown how few people, when given the choice, are choosing it.

"People are definitely not flocking to covenant marriage," Mr. Nock said.

Explanations vary.

"We've had it here in Arizona for about six years, and it's turned out to be very little used," said Barbara Atwood, a professor of family law at the University of Arizona. "I think people are wary of entering into a relationship that might potentially have difficulties at the far, unknowable end in a way that will keep them in it longer."

Proponents of covenant marriage see it differently.

"We've had it for four years, but a lot of people are still unfamiliar with it," Governor Huckabee said. "Even some who might have been vaguely aware of it were unclear on the particulars."

Mr. Nock's research backs this up. Only 40 percent of Louisiana residents had ever heard of covenant marriage, he found, the same percentage as residents of Utah, a state that has no covenant marriage law.

So proponents of covenant marriage have recently shifted their tactics, focusing increasingly on individual pastors and congregations as well as on lawmakers.

Proponents say one goal now is to recruit as many pastors as possible who will allow only covenant marriages in their churches. That was a reason so many ministers were invited to take part in Monday night's ceremony in North Little Rock, Mr. Rainey of Family Life said.
At the same time, proponents have increasingly formed alliances with other family advocates to strengthen marriages in other ways.

According to a 2004 study by the Center for Law and Social Policy, a nonpartisan Washington group that studies family issues, 40 states have provided at least some money to provide couples with marriage-related services like premarital counseling, mostly on a pilot basis.

Nine states offer welfare recipients a financial incentive to marry. Six are training county extension agents to offer family guidance and marriage-related services. Five will reduce the marriage license fee for those who get premarital counseling.

In general, most of this activity has been in the South and the West. Governor Huckabee says that all of this is welcome, but that he still believes in a strong focus on covenant marriage.

"Personally, I don't think of this as tied to any political agenda," he said. "I think it has much more to do with recognizing that we as a society are paying a huge human price because of broken families. With the votes on same-sex marriage last year, many states have said what they are against. This is an opportunity to speak out on that which we are for."
Click to expand...

My views...well, I think it's dumb.

The part about couples requiring to get counseling is potentially good, but one has to ask if it's really any of the state's business.

The restricted grounds for divorce though, is kind of stupid--it's just an easy system to abuse. What's better for the children, I ask: A quiet and clean divorce, or a long court case where they try to find out if Daddy was really beating up Mommy, or if Mommy is just saying that to get out of marriage.

But, at the same time, since a covenant marriage is simply optional and not required, I guess it's not that big of a deal.

Jon[athan] · Feb 16, 2005

i come from a "broken home" and id rather have my parents seperated than to come home and listen to them yell and fight and scream and swear and break shit. this way its easier ...i can see each one of my parents in...a somewhat peace. But that still doesnt take away all the pain and suffering from a divorce...but you get used to it after a while.

Glenn · Feb 16, 2005

What is a covenant marriage?

User Name · Feb 17, 2005

The real question is that did you even read the article?

Jila · Feb 17, 2005

ugh, thats just stupid. if they really cared that much, they would just get counceling (sp?) on their own, rather than be bound to a rule to do so.

Glenn · Feb 18, 2005

Originally posted by Cameron@Feb 16 2005, 07:49 PM
The real question is that did you even read the article?
Click to expand...

Ah...sorry I wasn't looking very closely. I see it now.

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Covenant Marriages

Whimsicality I broke the dam.

Jon[athan] Sincerly, written from my brothers blood machine.

Glenn Super Member LPA Super Member

User Name Angry Marines. Always angry, all the time. >:C LPA Super Member

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Covenant Marriages

Whimsicality I broke the dam.

Jon[athan] Sincerly, written from my brothers blood machine.

Glenn Super Member LPA Super Member

User Name Angry Marines. Always angry, all the time. >:C LPA Super Member

Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

Glenn Super Member LPA Super Member

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