I didn't want to link to any sites, so i'll post it here to get some feedback: Saturday Night, August 16th, Night Shift. I'm runnin' under the marquee, some confusion fussing around the theatre that evening. A couple of our theatres had some type of malfunction, and people were coming out the theatre's, crowding the halls. I kept looking back over my shoulder, looking through a glass square in my box door that I could look back into the theatre. It was crazy, and I was thankful for my current location. I turned back around to face one of my most obnoxious customers yet. "Good evening," I said to a senior couple who approached the window. "2 Seniors for Matrix: Reloaded." How do I respond to a question like that? Look at the date of this entry...Matrix: Reloaded is gonna be released on DVD/VHS any day now, and they come in as if it's opening weekend for the movie. I say, "Sorry, we don't show that movie any more." They both stepped back in shock, "You mean...30 screens and not ONE is showing Matrix: Reloaded ?" Ok, I lied, we keep hidden theatres so people like you can come months AFTER the movie is originally released so you can see it on the bigscreen. "No, i'm sorry." The old man plopped down a twenty and said, "Just gimme two senior tickets to something good," he told me. "Are you guys a fan of action movies?" I asked them. "Sure, why not?" he said with attitude looking at his wife as if he made some Chris Rock joke. "Here you go, here's your change, and two senior tickets to a classic that you'll be sure to love, 'American Wedding 3'. Enjoy your movie!" And don't choke on the popcorn, and don't come out of your house every 30 years to notice the clouds are still blue, and the last, most important things, don't ever come to my theatre again. ------------ Two 14 year olds males, each accompanied by their girlfriends who stood behind them about 2 feet, asked, "What's the discount for two hot guys and their dates?" Umm, i'm a guy? Umm, you guys are little highschool freshmen? Umm, you guys shouldn't even be allowed to see Spy Kids: 3D, without a parent? "Haha, there's no discount guys, sorry." They looked at each other shocked, and one guy blurted, "What the hell? You mean we have to pay like 40 bux total?" No way! I'll make an exception for two guys that are overly obnoxious and their ugly 8th grade girlfriends tonight, uhh, NO. "Actually, the total would ring up to about a little under 35 bucks," I told them. "Whatever, that's BS. We're gonna hit up the arcade, come on guys," one of the guys said, motioning with his hand to his little "group" towards the arcade next to our theatre. Wow. They're gonna "hit up" the arcade. He should just hit up some books. Hit up some education. He's wearing a shirt that says "No FX". Learn to spell and don't come here. Ever. Again. ------------ This girl comes up to the window alone, at about 8:30 p.m., she's about 16, and her headphones are blaring. "Can I help you?" I ask her. No response, she just keep's bobbing her head. "CAN I HELP YOU?!" I asked her again. Still, no response. I made the little 'rock on' thing with my hand, putting my index and pinky finger up and bobbed it a little towards her. She did it back and giggled, and walked off. What an idiot. The back of her shirt said, "You laugh because i'm different, I laugh because you're all the same." Well gal, you're absolutely right. You're definetely right, I laugh because you are the biggest, funniest excuse for a normal human being that another human being will ever see. Go hang out at Hot Topic with your other friends who pretend to be lonely rejects, and go buy some stud bracelets, and swallow them hole and you can count that as one of your "attempted suicides". This generation sucks, and people like this girl are the reason. ----------- How can American's be so uneducated? I mean, just finish highschool, is that hard? I guess so, because, the easiest movie to remember by name has been torture to soo many deviations, look at some of the ways people ask about "S.W.A.T.": - Cops - S.W.A.P. - S.N.A.P. - FBI - Denzel - Phone Booth (cracked me up) - Blue - S.W.A. - Special Weapons and Tactics Seriously people, get an education before watching a movie, we don't want you hurting yourself. ------------- "Two please," a man said after running as fast as he could to the window. I just stood still and looked back at him, watching him pant. "Two! Come on!" Uh, do you have a reservation? We don't let just ANY idiot in through our doors... ------------- A family of four approached the window. The father and mother were kissy-kissy, which made me sick, and it should make them sick too, expecially infront of their young children. The man, who looked quite ridiculous with purple short-shorts and a bright yellow t-shirt was laughing, and said to his wife, "See, I told you they wear purple and green," he said chuckling, pointing at my uniform. He twisted his neck and spoke into the microphone and asked, "Why do you guys wear those colors and clothes like that?" I gave him a blank stare and replied, "We're working, what's your excuse?"
And if you guys like this, keep checking for updates at our website...*points to sig.* Elie, these are your best stories so far.
Hahaha, the phone booth thing cracked me up I'm going to read the other chronicals now...Nice work Elie XD
That was the funniest one for me. But they were all great. I also read the other Entry's of the Cinema Chronicles. Way funny stuff.
Thanks Will, hehe. I was worried about that. Also, LVK, when I said that, I almost feared my job (never insult a customer, no matter how obnoxious or rude they may be).
really funny, im glad there are still a few people on the world with the same scence of humor as me...
But you also are supported by the staff that witnessed the customer saying what they did. So, I can use the argument that he insulted us, and I was just defending our theatre. But still, I may have overstepped boundaries. But whatever.
When that get's circulated, remember who said it first! LOL. "Elie - the crazy illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents!"