Christian Radical Redifines Pi, Justified by God

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Link04, Dec 3, 2004.

  1. #1
    Link04

    Link04 Ambient

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    Dover Math Teachers Required to Offer 'Alternative Value' for Pi

    DOVER, Pennsylvania - The Dover school board has raised eyebrows and ire across Pennsylvania and the country after requiring math teachers to offer 3 as an acceptable value of Pi. Pi is the name given to the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter, commonly accepted to be 3.141592, though the actual number is believed to go on endlessly, without repeating. "That's all well and good," said Maureen Callister, Dover school board member, "But what about God? Doesn't he have a say?" Callister cited the Bible, First Kings chapter 7, verse 23, where it says, "He [King Solomon] proceeded to make the molten sea ten cubits from its brim to its other brim, [...] and it took a line of thirty cubits to circle all around it." "If 3 is a good enough 'pi' for the Almighty, then it ought to be good enough for us," stated Callister.

    "Listen, I go to church on Sundays, I tithe, I don't need this," said Timothy Ernesto, a 10th grade math teacher in the district, "I need to get these kids ready for the rest of their lives, the SAT's, the ACT, the whole alphabet soup of testing they'll face before college. On top of all that, I have to teach an 'alternate reality' flavor of mathematics? I'm going to need my summer off!"

    Dover, having come under fire for its recent decision to teach 'intelligent design' as an alternative to evolution, is raising more than just the ire of its math teachers. "They've gotten the passage all wrong," said Mordecai Price, pastor of Dover's First Angelic Salvation Church of Redemption, "It isn't meant to be interpreted as exactly 10 cubits or exactly 30 cubits. When did you ever read about 3.14 cubits? If we simply assume that the diameter was 9.65 cubits and the circumference was 30.32 cubits, then we get a very reasonable ratio of 3.142. They've simply failed to allow the correct understanding to shine through."

    "We firmly believe that God already explained himself adequately, and he doesn't need us to second-guess him," defended Callister, "Besides, who ever really uses this stuff after school, anyway?"
     
  2. #2
    Vampire

    Vampire Banned

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    You've got to be fucking kidding me? When will the bullshit ever end?! This is just as bad as "take out 'Under God' from the pledge!" My goodness, these radicals are killing me with laughter. :lol:
     
  3. #3
    Chris.

    Chris. LPA Super Member Über Member

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    ...Seperation of Church and State. You can't say something like that and tell teachers to teach kids by backing it up with God. :rolleyes:


    Fucking Idiots.
     
  4. #4
    Neil

    Neil Super Duper Member LPA Super Member

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    Gah, science over religion. That's my motto.
     
  5. #5
    Maëlle

    Maëlle I've seen it all

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    Errr and what do they do with with people who aren't catholic? They put them in different maths classes so they don't have to learn about some catholic math thing? Would it look like this?:

    Westmount High school, choice of courses, year 2005-2006

    Please, choose one of the following:

    068-436 or 426 or 414: Catholic Maths
    067-436 or 426 or 414: Muslim Maths
    066-436 or 426 or 414: Jewish Maths
    065-436 or 426 or 414: Atheist Maths
     
  6. #6
    $pvcxGhxztCasey

    $pvcxGhxztCasey meanwhile... LPA Addicted VIP

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    I'm Druid/Satanist, but I'd fucking love to take a Catholic Math class. :whistle:
     
  7. #7
    Canadian Joe

    Canadian Joe Bacon strips LPA Super VIP

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    That's disgustingly awful...hey, let's educationally screw our kids over for life cause we're a bunch of anally-retentive, overly-religious-and-like-to-force-it-on-others people! Brilliance!
     
  8. #8
    Todd

    Todd FLǕGGȦ∂NKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN LPA Administrator

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    Let them change it, working with whole numbers is a hell of a lot easier than working with a number that never ends :p


    but in all seriousness, this is just fucking stupid. But it's religion at its best: Taking logic and scientifically and mathematically proven facts, claiming they're wrong and coming up with some bullshit that makes absolutley no sense
     
  9. #9
    Neil

    Neil Super Duper Member LPA Super Member

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    OMG. Word. Fucking word.
     
  10. #10
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

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    :lol:
     
  11. #11
    Soulcrasher-X

    Soulcrasher-X Well-Known Member

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    Thats just stupid (w00t)
     
  12. #12
    Razan

    Razan SUGAAAR!

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    I used to never think about religion 1 month ago when I joined...now I totally hate it.

    I've never heard of such stupidity in my life, I used to think religion was good, but now it's insane!

    :lol:

    My Islamic techer asked me the wrong question today:
    "What's your opinion on (topic), Razan."

    Well, it says not to lie so I told him I thought everything in religion was all rubbish...
    that didn't turn out so well, I could've got suspended!

    Thank the stars my dad is Atheist :D
     
  13. #13
    Kate

    Kate beat me senseless LPA Super Member

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    OMG. Word. Fucking word. [/b][/quote]
    Ain't that the truth.
     
  14. #14
    Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    LOL!

    I want to go to that school. I'd drive that teacher up a wall.
     
  15. #15
    Astat

    Astat LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    -_-

    This shit makes me ashamed to be a Christian. Devouts piss me off. I can so easily turn this in their face. God gave you common sense, use it, morons. It says King Solomon made it 10 cubits across and 30 cubits around. Does it say he pulled out his almighty measuring stick to get the exact measurement? No. I'd just like to point out that NOWHERE in the Bible does it say that God was perfect. I'm sure he estimated and rounded off numbers just like people with a bit of a brain do in the real world. People like this need to shut up, get a life, and get their heads out of their asses. Or wait, get their heads out of God's ass.
     
  16. #16
    Anthony.

    Anthony. .Orestes LPA Super VIP

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    Word to you, my friend. It makes people who adhere to a religion look bad.
     
  17. #17
    Madi

    Madi Well-Known Member

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    LOL! I can't believe what I just read. Religion just seems to be fucking up everything and everyone these days.
     
  18. #18
    Mechanical Christ

    Mechanical Christ Ein heißer Schrei LPA Super Member

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    HAHAHAHA!!!! :lol:


    If I could go up to that moron and slap the fuck out of him to wake him up, I would.
     
  19. #19
    peripeteia

    peripeteia Ambient

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    this is pretty dumb. sci does NOT equal to religion. anyone who tries that will be an idiot.

    unless you work in CERN or somethinglike that. :mellow:
     
  20. #20
    Razan

    Razan SUGAAAR!

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    (w00t) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    Couldn't have put it better myself :lol:
     

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