I wish I was able to still listen to them and at least feel something good, even if it's just a small bit. I know we have to keep his memory alive, and it makes me angry I'm not able to do so right now, at least when it comes to their music. I get angry at myself, I feel like I'm failing them, and him particularly. I'm scared I'll never be able to listen to those songs again, watch past shows with him and feel the energy and excitement I used to feel. I just feel lost right now.