I've heard that there are people that had lost some family members or friends like 4 or 5 years ago and they still feel the pain. I know Chester was not from my family, but I considered him as a close friend. I can't imagine in a couple of years still feeling the pain. That's what makes me afraid.
Thank you guys so, so much. This means a lot to me. It will take some time for me to be able to listen to them again... Hearing Chester's voice right now makes it hurt more... But I hope I'll be able to listen to them again and feel more happiness than sadness or pain. I feel guilty for wanting them to continue music in some way, but they've helped so many people through it... Whatever their decision is, we'll be here to support them no matter what. I'm hurting for them too, can't even imagine what it must be like for them, if it's already so, so painful for us... Thanks for all your help. I've had a depression for many years and I do have professional help, but the person is currently on vacation and it has been hard dealing with everything without medical appointments. My parents and my best friend are there for me, but it's like I'm unable to feel any comfort... I feel guilty for that too, because I know they care and are worried.
There is a misconception that we can completely overcome any sort of real loss or grief we experience - whether it be through the loss of a relationship, through death, or anything else. Part of being human is that emotions last. Of course, the heaviness and weight of this loss - which may have some of you crying or really feeling down these days - will come to pass. But you will look back on this and feel pain, of course. It's a painful experience that will become a painful memory, and that is just a part of life. It's the same for when we recall embarrassing moments, or happy moments, or loving moments. Those moments stick with us and the feelings can remain very vivid. That's okay, and it is part of living life. Do not fear it though - embrace it. However, I promise it will not be super intense forever - you will feel better in time, and you will be able to move on. We all will.
Of course! It's okay to want them to continue - we all really just want them to be able to live their lives doing what they love. And they will find a way to do that, whether that be making music together or separately, or pursuing other artistic endeavors. I'm glad you have professional help. Until they are back, be with your friend and your parents. Looking back, you will feel the help they are giving to you. And don't feel guilty (although I understand why you feel that way, I'm like that too) - you'd be there for them if they needed you too. You need them right now, and they are more than happy to be there for you. That is alright, and something to be grateful for.
Indeed, that's true. I hope they'll be able to find happiness again :') I will, thank you. I'm very grateful for them, I know it would be even worse without them. Thanks again, I'm very thankful to be part of this beautiful family. We'll heal together :') I'm here for all of you as well
I feel the same, I don't know how or when i'm gonna move on, but like Mike said: day at a time. And yes! it's super nice to have this forum. We'll getting through this together! Chaz will be happy to see how Linkin Park is connecting people around the world.
An Open Letter to All of the Linkin Park Family, It's been a few days now, for some of us it feels like it's been years or longer. It's still hard to believe. And I think many of us are still waiting for it to not be true. There is nothing easy or simple about losing the person who touched your soul and pulled you up out of the darkness you were trapped in. It's even harder when it's the same darkness he saved you from that ultimately took him from you in the end. I think for many of us we feel as though we've lost a friend, a partner, and a part of ourselves. I believe this is because we experienced so much with him. His pain was our pain, his battles were our battles, his wins were our wins. We saw so much of ourselves reflected back in him that we all began to blur the lines between our souls and his soul. And maybe that's why this is so hard. Because a part of us died with him. The coming days, months, even years will not always be easy. There will be times where you will fall. There will be times where you will cry. There will be times when the crippling hurt you feel deep in your chest will bear down on you like the weight of heaven and earth itself is pressing on your lungs. But you WILL survive this. WE will survive this. Because a part of him lives on in all of us he's changed for having been here. And he showed us what it takes to move on. His gift to us in life is what we need most in the wake of his death: the strength to keep going.
I want to give big shout outs to @Hybrid and @Louis for doing all this work. You guys rock and have been saying all the right things. It's cool to see so much and help support from you guys and everyone else on the community. I just read this entire thread front to back and it ttuly is heartbreaking but also joyfull to see all the help and support.
When it comes to Linkin Park, unlike a lot of people, I never truly related to any of the songs in their catelog until the song One More Light. A little under 5 years ago my best friend and another friend died in a hiking accident. It hurts, it still hurts. But it gets better. Over time it gets better. It never truly goes away because you were so connected to that person but it does get better. Every day, every month, every year. It gets better. A big thing I had to learn was to keep living life. You can't let these deaths completely rule your life. You have to keep strong in your daily life. Keep the positive memories in your thoughts always. It's always easy to focus on the negative but focus on the positive as much as you can. But I wouldn't be surprised if we all still felt hurt in 5 years because it never truly goes away.
I went to sleep yesterday but I did read everything that was written during I was asleep. I think the hardest are the mornings, when you wake up and a few seconds everything feels alright until reality hits you. But I guess a lot of you here are experiencing the same... The morning, to start myself going is very hard. And of course the evening when everything crushes down again. Guys I even feel selfish for getting my mind off. It just feels like I would want to forget him when I don't want to think about it. And that's clearly the last thing I wanna do. And thank you lots for your answers. You're right and I promise I won't hurt myself. He wouldn't want it and I'm so thankful for this thread here so it's way better to talk.
@Lynn, talking is always a better option, don't hurt yourself. I know it's hard not to but break the circle because harming will make you better for a while and then guilty because you did it and you're trapped in a circle. Talk to someone, go out, take a shower, whatever but just don't harm yourself. Regarding deaths and voids in you, my uncle died in May last year and although I seem completely recovered (able to be happy, laugh, look forward to the future, smiling while walking down the street) the day doesn't pass I don't think of him, I expect him to be in front of his house waiting for me to come. He was the first person close to me to die and it happened all so quickly, in just two and a half months, that I still wonder what if: What if we noticed it earlier? What if we went to the doctor earlier? You're able to laugh and feel happy after some time and then you feel guilty for experiencing positive feelings because it seems like you've betrayed the memory and forgot he isn't here anymore. You act like everything is normal and ask yourself how can you, how selfish is that of you. It stops hurting a lot but whenever you think of him there's a small sting of pain in your chest and you expect him to see him on his usual spot. I have a mixed feelings about Chester's death, sometimes I'm still expecting to see him especially after watching interviews last night because there's no way he's gone. It's great that I was able to watch interviews but can't listen to any of their work (I listened to HT and OML but not yesterday). Other times I break down in tears like yesterday when realization hit me hard: he's gone. After that there was a new feeling: it was like I emptied myself and actually started thinking that the future just might be a little brighter and there might be hope of overcoming this. It made me feel better and I feel guilty for feeling better (just like about my uncle) because I just shouldn't be, it's too soon, it's betraying a memory and thinking that everything is fine when it's not. It's like i didn't pay him enough respect because he was our hero and felt like a friend. I need to work on getting over this but it'll be hard. I still think of him every waking minute (at least I'm able to sleep although I wake up in the middle of the night) but this is something new.
@Doridorica you're so right, that's exactly how I feel. Falling asleep is hard and waking up during the night, everything feels so dark. I heard a lot people say that it's getting better and I do believe you, I really do. Tho it seem so unbelievable. I just don't know when it will get better. I feel like I'm doing a step forward and two steps backward... I heard the song play today on the radio, one more light, and my heart was racing and I even my hands were shaking. I was with a friend and we were drinking coffee but if I was alone I sure as hell would have cried. These are those moments I don't think it'll get better soon.
@Lynn, it will get better, believe me. Although it seemed hopeless now and like you're stuck one day you'll wake up and feel better. Just try not to bottle up your feelings, cry if you need to, shout, run, write- whatever helps. Also don't try to rush the healing process and look at others thinking why can't you get over things as easy as they did. First, everyone is unique and different and heals at their own pace. Second, you don't know what the other person is really thinking and feeling, people are good af hiding their true feelings. It might take you days, months but these feelings will beckme easier to handle. If I may share a personal story: it took me months to get over the guilt for feeling better and stop asking what if after my uncle died. It was a long process but I made it by working on myself and my feelings. Now I'm back to the beginning again because I feel guilty for feeling slightly better in this situation. It will get better again, we just need time. Go out, be among people as much as you can, don't let the feeling of despair overwhelm you but also remember that it takes time to heal.
I had to put my dog to sleep on April 21st, he was 14 years old and as an only child he was all I ever had. When I felt lonely and sad, I listened to LP and pet my dog... Loosing him (that way) was hard, I couldnt stop crying and my friends didnt really know how it felt.. so I was mostly mourning alone with my parents. Weeks later I thought that it wont ever get better, people told me it will but I didnt believe... Today Im still sad about it, but it really got better. I know it might not help for now, but we are here for you
Woke up today and it still doesn't seem real. I thought after the guys would make a statement, it would finally sink in. But it hasn't.
As mentioned earlier, guys, it will get better. It takes some time, and maybe some self-pushing to get there, but it will get better. While on this journey, remember that you are never alone on it. There are plenty of us here to talk to who are all trying to cope with this hand life has dealt us. Reach out. There will be no judgement. Nothing but love.