This great community helped me a lot. Without the LP-Soldiers I would still go crappy. I am very grateful to everyone.
It’s already August 6th but i still can’t figure out how the hell i am such a dumb to miss all the opportunities i had to see Linkin Park live. Now i have no a chance anymore. I keep torturing myself with this fact and can’t handle with it anymore. I envy every single smart person who is living not by ‘i have enough time, maybe later’ but every moment. Realising i will NEVER see this beautiful Man breaks my heart over and over again. I keep repeating ‘Until it’s gone’ like a life lesson for me but it doesn’t help. I'd give away a couple of years of my entire life just to get a chance to see the whole band live. I don’t know what to do and what to think. People say time will take the pain away but i’m not sure it will work for me. It’s getting even worse when i started to find anyone who’s simiar to him because somehow it comforts me. I guess it’s crazy. Well at least i’m proud he’s a Legend of my generation. Love you, Chester, to the core of my heart. P.S. I’m sorry for grammar mistakes because English isn’t my mother language.
I feel you. I also never got to see them live... It breaks my heart thinking bout it that this is never gonna happen. I wish I would have went to the festival on June but it was hours away and no one had time for me so I didn't go... It would have been my last chance. I know these thought aren't helpful at all and it's useless to think like that but sometimes I just can't help. I just wish he's there somewhere and he's in peace and happy... I can't stand the thought that he's nowhere and just gone...
@Lynn he has become the brightest star up there watching over us all. That's what I like to believe and it has bought me some peace
@Lynn @Nadja Blaming ourselves for decisions made in the past doesn't lead us anywhere. It's okay to be sad or feel regrets but we are making our decisons (every one of them) with the knowldge we have in that current situation with the given circumstances in that very moment. If the circumstances are changing we may wish we would have made another decision but how could we know... We can only do new decisions for the future. And if the feeling of regrets comes up in your mind don't blame yourself or talk yourself down but learn from it. That's who we are. We are humans and we learn every single day. If there is another artist where you would regret it not meeting him/her - make sure to grap some tickets for example. I know it's hard but you're not dumb or anything. Much love <3 <3
But that would mean that he planned it or made some kind of conscious decision. And I refuse to believe that he planned it in anyway! It would be so much worse to know that he left his family on Wednesday to return to LA earlier knowing that he will end his life. The way he spoke about the future and making plans tells me that he didn't want to die.
Thank you so, so much for this. One of those days when my own words aren't making any sense to me. Just felt pretty lost today, so thank you.
This also is something a lot of other fans need to hear. And it applies to not just LP but having regrets about the past in general
I guess that's true, never really thought about that....i guess a part of me just wants to know what was going through his mind at the time...if that makes sense.
Thank you very much for your answer <3 I know we couldn't know what was going to happen... No one knew. It's just so sad to think about it tho I know thought like these don't make any sense. I wish too that he had left a note or something to clear out minds but I don't believe he planned it as well. There were too many plans for his future...
If I could sticky this reply in this thread I would. I remember that I was concerned for his well being when I saw how emotionally fragile he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel with the OML performance. I remember feeling that combined with the statements he had made about his rough 2016, and him taking some fans' comments personally that at the time I wondered if Chester wasn't completely okay yet. I later felt differently because in interviews that followed Chester expressed wanting to fight, and feeling happy. So I was lulled into a false security about his state of being. But when news of Chester's death first broke I felt like I should've said something more, that I should've reached out about my concerns. I felt an absolute guilt for it, until I realized that none of us could control what happened and that if his closest band mates weren't able to keep him from doing it, how could I? Everyone who was close to him said this was unexpected and that he was looking to the future. That he seemed happy and energetic for the years ahead. So like you said Joh, how could we have known? We can't blame ourselves for past decisions.
Unfortunately I had never the possibility. I would have liked to see chester & the others live. What remains is the hope that the band sometime the force finds new or old songs live to play. I must see them.
One of the problems my depression has brought since a long time ago has to do with social environments. I don't feel well around too many people, specially if I don't know them personally, I have panic attacks and these depressive waves that made me think I'll never be okay, because no matter what activities or hobbies I might do/have, when I'm at my worst, I don't like any of it. I don't find happiness doing any of it. Because of these things, I haven't attended the memorial here in Lisbon, I did a simple one with my best friend instead. Despite this, it makes me feel bad about myself to know I wouldn't feel okay and possibly worse being in a place where people come together to celebrate someone, and actually feel better and get some comfort from it. I feel guilty and scared I would have disappointed him, for not doing something as beautiful or special. I tend to not value the things I do, I always feel like it's not enough.
Chester would be humbled and happy you chose to remember him in your own way, even if it's with a friend or inside your mind. That in itself is beautiful, and how big or small a memorial is does not make it any less or more special. You've chosen to remember Chester in the way your mind allows you to, and that's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. The fact that you choose to continue to remember him is what's most important.
I feel the same. My borderline personality disorder makes me feel uncomfortable around too many people. Concerts are ok tho but the memorial was a little hard cause I was in a really bad mood. If I'm happy I'm ok, even around people. If I'm unhappy it's hard. It's that social anxiety that makes me feel weird in public sometimes. I forced myself to go to the memorial because I needed it and I have no friends with whom I could have made it at home. I think it's totally ok to make it at home tho. Don't get me wrong. You don't need to feel guilty. He's everywhere around us I believe and he can see us everywhere. It doesn't have to be a special place.
Exactly what Lynn said. And if you want to be technical @YoMarques , you ARE remembering Chester with a large group of people: us. We're a constant 24/7 all day memorial for Chester, and everyone is welcome to come mourn and pay respects any time. None of you are alone in you mourning, for we are one family mourning together!
This is exactly what i'm gonna do now! I'm gonna travel to the concerts in the nearest future because we live just once and i don't wanna miss my chance anymore. Thank you for your words!