Chester Bennington Support Thread - We're here for you

Discussion in 'Chester Bennington' started by Kevin, Jul 24, 2017.

  1. #21
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    Thank you for offering your support, @Sujana. I can attest as well that I am here for any and all of you should you need someone to talk to. As Sujana said, we are all in this together.

    Absolutely agreed - thank you, @Tobin To Myself.

    Thank you for sharing your experience. It is difficult to deal with different anxieties or forms or shapes of mental illness, or even just serious fears and phobias. To come forward with that, and to seek treatment for it, shows your courage and your willingness to seek help. I hope others can take from what you've shared, and we appreciate your willingness to help others, @Vinifeijo.

    It's okay to feel like shit - your reaction to this loss is not unusual. Loss of appetite, overwhelming emotions, fear of loneliness - are among the many natural and justifiable reactions to loss. Ignore your mother's comments, because family members are not the only people in our lives who mean something. For many people, they are closer to friends and colleagues than they are to their own families - and for others, the loss of an idol or role model can be absolutely devastating.

    Acknowledge that these feelings are normal, and understand that sadness and grief, as well as disbelief, are all part of the process when we experience loss. It's okay to feel this way, and to let your emotions out. The important thing is that, when you are ready (as you've done now, too), to talk about them - and to let others into your world so that we can empathize with you and support you.

    Please, please do not feel bad for grieving. The worst thing someone can do is feel ashamed for feeling sadness, grief, anger, or anything in that realm. These are perfectly normal - it means you cared, and it means you are human.

    There is nothing fraudulent about grieving over any loss. You don't have to meet someone to have tremendous respect for somebody. People grieve over the death of role models, icons, and leaders all of the time (e.g., see David Bowie, Prince, etc.). These people meant something to the world, just as Chester meant something to us. Our message on the front page encapsulates perfectly what he meant to us, in my mind - he was inspiration, empathy, and friend all boiled into one. It is perfectly okay to feel devastated - we all do.

    Thank you for sharing that, @Joe. Loss can be really impactful - oftentimes, these sorts of losses affect the way we sleep, dream, eat, and live our normal lives for some time. What Joe is expressing is completely normal, and I want to tell you that I really appreciate you sharing that. And Joe, you are exactly right - some people won't understand until they go through something like this themselves. People idolize and admire others all the time, even without having ever met them. Chester was a very substantial part of the lives of many fans, including our own. And many of us have followed him and the band so closely, that it truly felt like we know him - and we did know him in a way. Feeling the effect of his loss is normal, and human, as I've said.

    And Joe is right - this will get better. Stick together, share your love and your grief, and we will get through this. We promise.

    Agreed - Joe is right here.

    It's okay to not be happy right now. Again, do not shame yourself for feeling a certain way. "I know I shouldn't be like this, but" is a reaction that we feel compelled to make because we didn't personally know the guy as well as, say, a close friend or family member - but there are perfectly valid reasons why you feel as sad and devastated as you do. This is normal, and it is okay. I promise, it is okay - and that it will get better.

    Thank you for offering your support, @Anne. We appreciate it.

    I understand, @CharleeDanger. It is okay to feel alone on this - being a fan, or admiring someone at all, is such a deeply personal thing. Unless you're involved in a community like ours where everyone can relate, it's easy to feel like no one does or can understand you. I know I feel that way a bit, though some people did reach out and check to see if I had heard and if I was doing okay.

    And yes, these feelings come in waves. Sometimes you'll feel alright, and other times you will feel overwhelmed. This is perfectly normal, and I am going through this as well. Others will be able to relate to what you've expressed.

    Do not feel stupid for how upset you are. Again, this is normal. This is a part of grieving. It is okay to be sad, and to feel devastated. Do not shame yourself for that. Let yourself go through it, and you will feel better in time. And there is no set amount of time for grieving, or a tell-tale moment for when it stops - grieving varies for everyone, depending on what happened, what they've been through, and what type of person they are. Some people handle grief differently as well - internally or externally - so there is natural variability in how long or how intense this feeling lasts. But again, let yourself go through it. It is normal, and it is human.

    Agreed. Thank you for this comment, @hybrid.

    Absolutely agreed!

    Yes, yes! Agreed!

    Denial is normal. Shock and denial are natural stages of grief and loss. None of us could believe it when we first heard, but that is the nature of such devastating and tragic news, especially when it involves losing someone we care about. You will feel this way for a while, but over time and with healthy grieving, you will accept and you will get through this as we all will. This is all part of the process, and it is normal.

    You don't have to tell yourself not to think certain thoughts. Understand that your feelings are normal, but just let yourself grieve - and seek the company of those you care about when you feel alone. We are certainly here for you.
     
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  2. #22
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    Changes in sleep and appetite are normal when dealing with loss - just do your best to regulate and find sleep and eat when you can. Your reactions to the loss are normal - they are not symptomatic of being a lunatic, and no one thinks (or should ever think) you are a lunatic. All through this thread already, you can see people who are going through what you describe: wondering why they feel this way when they didn't know him personally, why they are so sad, wondering how long this will take, fearing being alone. These are perfectly normal feelings - they show that you are human.

    Chester and Linkin Park have helped us all through hard times, so like you, this is hitting us all pretty hard. Completely understandable. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but consider a few things. You can talk to us, or to family or friends. You can write your thoughts down. You can listen to music. You can do something productive (I find cleaning helps me through times like these). There are a number of ways to grieve and process, you just have to find what helps. But, don't suppress feelings. If you feel angry, just understand why you feel that way. Same thing with sadness. If you feel like crying? Cry. It is okay.

    We are here for you so please reach out if you need support. We appreciate you commenting in this thread.

    Yes, yes! Absolutely right.

    Good of you to write your thoughts down! If you want to share it, social media is a good way to do that. Hand-delivering it is tough but if we find a way for folks to do that, we can share it with you. If I were you, I'd hold onto the letter and tuck it away somewhere. It will remind you of how you dealt with grieving over Chester's loss, and that can be an empowering thing during dark times.

    Agreed! Not lunacy at all! And yes, congrats on university!
     
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  3. #23
    JackalopeKiss

    JackalopeKiss Linkin Park Soldier

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    I just feel lost. Ever since I heard the news on Thursday, it's like I've been in a trance, just wandering aimlessly through trivial day-to-day tasks. Everything kinda feels pointless now. Everything is bleak. I've spent the majority of the days crying, and when I finally am able to stop, I find myself just staring off at nothing. I haven't slept right. Thankfully I was able to take a day off of work, but there's only so much time I can take off. My boyfriend has been amazingly supportive, and I can't thank him enough for being so incredible and understanding. But it's just so hard. I'm devastated, broken, still in shock. Most of the time I just don't know what to do. I know eventually these feelings will pass. But it certainly won't be for a long, long time.
     
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  4. #24
    Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    I'm so thankful for this community... Louis you're an angel and everyone else trying their best to help us. I feel like this is the only place I'm understood.
     
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  5. #25
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    Feeling aimless and some sense of helplessness or hopelessness is also a normal part of the grieving process. Loss is devastating, and as Linkin Park even expressed in their message to Chester today, it can feel like there's a large gap or hole in our lives when this happens. I'm glad you could take some time off work to grieve - using your free time to sit down and process is important. At the same time, channel energy into your work and let that be a way of grieving, but also a moment of brief reprieve for you. I find work keeps me occupied so that I'm not always thinking about this or the other sad and trying things in my life.

    The important thing is to just let yourself grieve and to reach out to people who care about you. I'm glad your partner has been supportive to you. Know that we are too, and that we are very happy to help you and be there for you.

    This is what we are here for. We know how hard this is, and we are clearly feeling it too. We're all grieving together, and are in this together. So please give us a shout anytime you need to chat, talk, or let something out. We will listen.
     
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  6. #26
    Priscilla

    Priscilla New Member

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    Guys, it's absolutely super hard day by day, I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about him, about his pain, I have depression and I fight with this everyday, but now it's like I've lost part of me, I feel empty, sad. It's definely unbelievable and difficult to believe.
    Linkin Park touched my life in so many ways. I had 11yo (now I'm 25) when I started to listening their music. My heart is totally heartbroken.
    Too many people and friends doesn't understand our pain "it's just a band." So, I'm here if someone need to share your feelings. We are Linkin park soldiers, let's stays together.
     
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  7. #27
    Deepti Prasad

    Deepti Prasad Member

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    Hey Sujana! Thanks a lot for replying! Guess both of us had the same lifetime goal :) It's just, I tried opening up to a couple of my friends (It's really weird that I don't have a single friend who's a huge LP fan) but they didn't really get what I was saying. Instead, they went prattling on about how suicide is a selfish act. That just turned into a heated discussion where I ended up getting stares. I was diagnosed with depression a few years back. And I haven't opened up to anyone about the battles in my head. I guess I have a sorta Jekyll and Hyde thing going. And when I used to watch Chester's interviews, he'd talk about how even when things are going right, you still feel uncomfortable and there's this constant struggle with yourself. That's how LP and Chester ended up being my comfort zone. I really appreciate this initiative of you guys. For once, it feels like there's somewhere I belong and I can attempt to open up and pen down what I'm feeling.
     
  8. #28
    Deepti Prasad

    Deepti Prasad Member

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    Hey Priscilla! This is kinda what I have been trying to cope with as well. I first started listening to Linkin Park when I was 11 and I'm 27 now. And I tend to empathize a lot. I keep trying to put myself in Chester's shoes, and what would have led him to this. I dunno how I'm ever gonna move on... I guess it's nice that this forum is there for us all to come together and share our grief.
     
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  9. #29
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    @Priscilla - We completely understand. Many of us have been crying over this (some on-and-off, others the whole time since). Dealing with loss, especially in the cases of suicide, can be particularly trying - especially as it leaves so many people with questions and without closure. And for those of us with depression, that is all so much harder. The emptiness and sadness you feel, we feel too.

    We were all touched by this band. Many of us have listened to this band since we were essentially children. I started listening to the group back when I was around 8 or 9 years old, and I am now 24. That's a large and incredibly developmental stretch of life, meaning that this band had significance in very important and trying times of our lives. So, if any of you might be wondering why this hits you so hard, consider that this band has been around long enough to really impact you at key points in your life - so naturally, we feel some level of affection, attachment, and admiration for this group and its members.

    It's never just a band. These people meant something to us, and anytime we lose someone like that, it is trying. Some people will not understand how you are feeling, but that is okay. Many of us do, and are here for you. You're absolutely right - we should and will stay together on this.

    I'm sorry that you had trouble connecting with your friends on this, @Deepti Prasad, and we hope you are able to connect with folks on here who understand what you are going through.
    Depression and suicide are very trying topics, and many people do not understand them fully. Suicide is not a selfish act - and mental illness, affliction and depression are not so simple as to be boiled down into particular decisions and acts. The best you can do is to speak calmly about it, and if they do not understand, there is no need to expend your energy on it. Grieve as you need to, and talk with people who will listen to you (like us!).

    Many of us have our own personal afflictions, including battling depression and other degrees and sorts of mental illness. And that can be really difficult to share, so thank you for doing that. I'm really glad you feel like this has been or will be helpful for you. If anyone finds any solace or reprieve from this thread, then that is great - it's what we're hoping to provide.
     
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  10. #30
    polleo

    polleo You're gonna carry that weight. LPA Super Member

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    I get it, I had friends who didn't understand my love for LP too and it sucks that your friends have made light of suicide. I can't weigh in on that debate unfortunately, it's a shitty thing for the people you leave behind but at the same time, people that commit suicide aren't in the best or rational mindset to be blamed for what they do. I'm sorry about your depression but to overcome your depression and make it to your chosen university is something to proud of, isn't it? I think that's pretty cool :)

    Again, if you want to talk more, feel free to hang out here. I believe Chester did his best to reach out and help others and that we can carry on his effort.
     
  11. #31
    Deepti Prasad

    Deepti Prasad Member

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    Louis, thanks a lot. All of you. It means a lot. I don't think I can say this enough. And Louis, that was some great advice. I guess making myself useful and following it is gonna be the hard part :)
     
  12. #32
    Deepti Prasad

    Deepti Prasad Member

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    Sujana, where in India are you?
     
  13. #33
    polleo

    polleo You're gonna carry that weight. LPA Super Member

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    Check your pm :)
     
  14. #34
    Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    My story is pretty much the same. I got hooked onto them because my sister loved them so much. I was 11 or 12 and now I'm 25. I had no friends in school, got offended a lot and had nobody to talk to. The situation inside my family wasn't the best, there were some evil things I had to see as a child. My dad was beating my mom and he liked alcohol way too much... So who was there? Linkin Park. Whenever I was angry or sad or just needed someone to bring my mind in another direction. So it now just feels like I lost the one I looked up to. The one who was there although he didn't even know me nor did I knew him. There were posters all over my walls and I loved them so much, I watched their videos and I was so touched by Chester's story. At the age of 14 I'd never thought that he won't be there 11 years later. It doesn't feel right or real.
     
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  15. #35
    Deepti Prasad

    Deepti Prasad Member

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    I don't think it's about making light of suicide. I think it's a knowledge gap. Or lack of empathy. But yeah, I'm grateful that you guys around. I'm attempting to confront my feelings atleast. That's a start I guess :) And I'm more right brained in my approach. So my basic instinct to deal with trauma is to try and learn as much as possible and use logic. Somehow none of that seems to be working in this case. And the university thing, when the demons dance inside, there's no stopping them :)
     
  16. #36
    Slash Stradlin

    Slash Stradlin Guns N' Roses

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    This is a great thread, I want to say so many things, but this incident has really made me feel so awful, I am worried about many people. Even I want to help out people and help out myself, no one should take this kind of drastic step and they should fight with the demons.
     
  17. #37
    K. Nolen

    K. Nolen Member

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  18. #38
    K. Nolen

    K. Nolen Member

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    My thoughts on the tragic suicide of my favorite musician... Please forgive the grammar and punctuation.

    His lyrics speak for so many of us who have struggled with addiction, trauma, mental illness, and issues that we face and suffer from, and spend a lifetime fighting to overcome...To me, he was kind of the representative for the struggling, pained, angry, lost but GOOD souls who are REACHING SO DESPERATELY and needing something to hold onto... LPs MUSIC WAS THAT SOMETHING...(for me anyways.) He was the the voice for so many of us who needed an outlet and just needed to blast and scream to the world how we feel,so everyone could hear...And actually kind of be proud of it just cause it sounded so fucking awesome coming out. He was able to internalize and express what we try to find the words for, and execute the expression of those words with beautiful avengeance. His songs were the anthems for so many of us...., so many of us, whatever we are.


    .....HEART BREAKING to see the man who was my voice, in which I admired and loved for being so amazing it was inconceivable...The man that I saw in concert twice and was looking forward to seeing many more times to come. The man that gave me goosebumps as I watched on stage in awe as my eyes filled with tears of joy and other feelings I can't describe.. While simultaniously belting out his songs, LPs songs, the songs that LP created, but they were my songs too. The songs of my life. The man that I admired for screaming these feelings that I had, (that I was made to feel were stupid, silly, shameful and weak feelings) so loudly and beautifully..... The man that I could turn to and would press the"play" button and listened to for hours a day, and could depend on to give me that comfort in connecting with and singing along with.....Even though he didn't know I exsist, I loved him so much and appreciated this service. I loved him as much as a person could love someone they never met. (As stupid as that sounds...)

    THAT MAN......, whom I so much admired and looked up to, has surccumbed to that VERY SAME pain us fans endure, yet turn to HIS music to help us get through. I use to feel empowered by LPs music and now I feel dispair. Thoughts and images of what Chester was enduring and what he was feeling keep possessing my mind, Just like the thoughts that possessed his. Only because I have been there many times where he was at that moment mentally. Just one level above his in severity. But so close, right there, surrounded by the terrifying evil, the devil, the darkness. Terrified that this demon will never fucking leave me lone. Feeling like there is only one way to escape. With the bottle in my hand emptier with each swallow. The liquid perfectly representing my care, my desire to live, my faith, my life,........ My time left. This tragedy is the toughest hit possible for me when it comes to "celebrities"...He was my all time favorite.... He was SO MUCH more than that to me. And to find out he was battling and fighting the same battle that I do and lost, Its like a part of me died too. But I thank him for the music. I thank him for the courage he had to put these feelings out in the world. BUT the music will never give me the joy it use to.....EVER AGAIN. I will try to remain grateful for the feelings the music once gave me and for being blessed enough to actually be so fortunate to see Chester Bennington in concert not only once, but twice. I will try my best to hold on to those memories....
    .. Here is a true statement that I once said at a Linkin Park concert,...... "this is the only time I have ever felt at "home", I wish this would never end."....

    I love you forever Chester Bennington No one will ever be anything like you EVER. I will continue fighting and will never give up. I vow to put to rest and forbid entertaining the thought of suicide ever again. And I forbid suicide from ever being possibility for my fate ever again, In your honor and in the honor of all the others battling this mental illness, abused, traumatized, addiction stricken, suicidal epidemic hell we are living in. For the ones who are still fighting, for the ones who once did, and or the ones who have lost the fight.
     
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  19. #39
    Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    Hear what you are saying. I was told to get over it, he was not family so grow up (I'm 39). My world has fallen apart, can't sleep, can't eat, can't keep track of time. I stopped drinking and drugs in 2002 but so desperately want to start again to nunb this pain. I am depressed again, a battle i have fought for many years and have been self harming. Thankfully my boss is reviewing my workload and arranging therapy for me. Which sounds ridiculous as I am a CBT therapist anyway. I know we are all here for each other and that helps. Thank you every one of you out there. :fedora::cry:
     
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  20. #40
    barush

    barush Active Member

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    There are moments when I'm busy with something and kind of... not forget, but I'm not actively thinking about Chester. And then, when I do think about him, it hits me all over again and it's like the first time I heard about his passing and it hurts so much... Does that happen to anyone else?
     

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