Building A Train Wreck

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Darcy, Oct 24, 2005.

  1. #1
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Um yeah, I've been writing this whenever I got an idea for it for the past couple days. I like constructive critisizm, so tell me what you think. And stuff.

    Here it goes:

    Well you tried too hard just to miss
    But don't put this down on your dark little list
    You've got ten thousand chances to hit
    So don't get distracted by wondering if
    They've got places for people like you
    And I'm not really sure but I'd say if I knew
    But this whole damn world hasn't a clue
    It's the freedom you choose that defines what you do

    So you've got your whole world in a box
    But you'd give it all up just to get what you want
    Now you're breaking down all that you've got
    You said, "Nobody cares so then why should I stop?"
    You dig deeper each time you give up
    If you can't understand it then you might be fucked
    If you loved it you threw it away
    It was a moment of truth gone as fast as it came

    But the lightning struck outside my room
    And the rain it came down not a moment too soon
    Now you let it all slip through your hands
    With that look on your face when the shit hit the fan
    It gets harder each time you forget
    That these deadbeat last words are as good as it gets
    And if you could ditch this date with hell
    I'm damn sure that I can forgive pretty well
     
  2. #2
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Ooh, me likes, no, me loves. ^_^

    That was my unconstructive criticism.
     
  3. #3
    Atsuzen

    Atsuzen Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Hey wow wow WOW WHOA! :lol: That was awesome!


    I'm sorry if this isn't constructive criticism, I just thought that was really good ;)
     
  4. #4
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Teehee, thank you both. Compliments work too. ^_^
     

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