Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce my first 'hip-hop' song. This song is open for download at this link: Song The lyrics are also below Enjoy Broken Down Congratulations is what they give, But deep down inside I don’t wanna live, I can’t believe, That you could be so f*cking naive, As to think that I really cared, But now I’m feeling scared, Because I feel so empty and so goddamn alone, You give me verbal assault over the phone, You think that I’ll forget what you’ve done, But I’ll be jumping so high when you’re gone, So sit back down and take your seat, You think you’re tough and you can’t take defeat, But you’re really just as confused as me, And that’s about as confused as you can be. What do you do when you feel broken down? Feeling so angry, but don’t wanna frown, Everybody quick, get down, get down, get down. No one seems to like the way I act, I’ve exploded like a bomb on impact, It explodes then leaves a space, An empty place, Where nothing is left or can grow, I can’t believe that you don’t know, That I feel so used by you and everyone, I only wish for you to be gone, I hate the teachers especially one of them, He always picks on me and gives me detention, But don’t tell him that it’s gonna be me, That’s gonna rise up and kill all of his family, Because then it won’t be a big surprise, When he is all alone and cries. What do you do when you feel broken down? Feeling so angry, but don’t wanna frown, Everybody quick, get down, get down, get down. So everyone who has ever been against me, Come round to my house and then you’ll see, That I was winnin’, I’m winnin’ and I’m gonna win, Because I’m waiting for this all to begin, So wrap up because it’s gonna get cold, But none of my sh*t ever gets old, I hope I never look down and fall, Because then I’ll lose it all, And what I’ve just said will be backfired, And some assh*le will be hired, Instead of someone qualified like me, So everyone back off and leave me be, I’m gonna get you, just remember that, Should I attack you with a baseball bat? What do you do when you feel broken down? Feeling so angry, but don’t wanna frown, Everybody quick, get down, get down, get down. What do you do when you feel broken down? Feeling so angry, but don’t wanna frown, Everybody quick, get down, get down, get down. What do you do when you feel broken down? Feeling so angry, but don’t wanna frown, Everybody quick, get down, get down, get down. What do you do when you feel broken down? Feeling so angry, but don’t wanna frown, Everybody quick, get down, get down, get down. Yo, to anyone and everyone against me, I’ll come and get you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And I'd like some input about the song. eg. What I could make better
so this is your first "hip-hop" style song? I like the lyrics I will check out the download later Also I would apreciate (since you seem to be a supermember) some feedback on my first "hip-hop" lyrics. http://www.lpassociation.com/forums/index....=ST&f=71&t=5235
So what if he's a super member or not, it doesn't mean people judge lyrics better if they're a super member.
Whoa ! I downloaded the song and listened to it and went along witht he lyrics while listening. I just gotta say... That... Was.... AWESOME.. Seriously, I loved it. Great job !
So what if he's a super member or not, it doesn't mean people judge lyrics better if they're a super member. [/b][/quote] well, I know that has nothing to do with there judging "skill" all I meant was, is he seemed to be a good sport at things.....plus when a good writer themselves give you feedback it helps improve on how you write things....
awesome lyrics...but the download of it...wasnt feeling it for some reason, but like I said awesome lyrics man
I'll talk to With You about that, he put the song together, I ain't got the software to do that... [/b][/quote] I give you the beats I hate, or that suck and save the good ones for myself