Black Ice (Featuring Hellflame)

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Dedicated, Mar 6, 2006.

  1. #1
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Got a little bit of a back-story for you here, haha. I wrote the first verse and sent it to Luke who suggested I change some things around, mainly the first line because it was irrelevant :lol: . Anyway, then he asked very nicely if he could have some input in the song so I let him and he then came out with the rap-type second verse which I modified ever so slightly and then added the pre-chorus type bit. Blah, blah, blah...

    Anyway, hope you like this alot cause a lot of work's been put into it ^_^


    "Black Ice" (Featuring Hellflame)

    My gosh,
    The snow sets the scene,
    Perfectly,
    This is my dream,
    Then suddenly,
    The blast distracts me,
    And I can't breathe,
    I'm the shadow of a man that you can't see.

    As I stand staring at cars with my back against the wall,
    I understand that I've made the mistakes that you were waiting for,
    The clouds fog up the roads and make the drivers unstable,
    Even though the snow reminds people of angels,
    There's a dark comparison, there's a dark side of the light,
    Black ice, synthetic car crashes which blow up in the night,
    The sky's completely shattered and the moon pushed out the way,
    What a beautiful ending to a beautiful day.

    My gosh,
    The snow sets the scene,
    Perfectly,
    This is my dream,
    Then suddenly,
    The blast distracts me,
    And I can't breathe,
    I'm the shadow of a man that you can't see.

    You see, that person driving could have been me,
    If I only decided to take an earlier leave,
    It’s kinda fucked that I could right now be dead,
    And how it could have been my blood turnin’ the white snow red,
    But behold, the driver’s somehow alright,
    Stumblin' out of the car onto the sheet of black ice,
    That caused this catastrophe without a care in the world,
    Not thinkin' twice about the man or how this all would unfurl,
    Blue lights can be seen speedin’ down the street,
    To try and help this poor guy back onto his feet,
    But suddenly in what seemed like the blink of an eye,
    The whole thing blows up lightin' up the sky,
    Turning the night to day for a brief period of time,
    And I’m still here tryin’ to comprehend the sight,
    The strain of it all has brought me down onto the ground,
    On the same place the dude’s photograph was found,
    Not burned but somehow perfectly preserved in the white snow,
    And in the light it seemed to glimmer, sparkle and glow,
    The photo was of his daughter taken just a week before,
    Now it’s kept in evidence right next to the morgue,
    Her dad’s asked it to be put next to her grave,
    What a beautiful ending, what more can I say?

    Even though this town looks perfect lying in the snow,
    Can't help but be pessimistic 'bout when it's gonna go,
    I feel so sorry for the girl stuck in that car crash,
    Slowly losing her life as the car went sliding past,
    I feel so bad that I can't do a thing right now,
    Was too caught up in my emotions to hear her crying out,
    Staring blankly at the road where the snow used to be,
    What a beautiful ending black ice can bring.

    My gosh,
    The snow sets the scene,
    Perfectly,
    This is my dream,
    Then suddenly,
    The blast distracts me,
    And I can't breathe,
    I'm the shadow of a man that you can't see.

    The feeling's gone now and I still hear the girl scream,
    Thrown right back into the equation and the traumatic scene,
    Slowly blistering in contrast to the cooling of the snow,
    What a beautiful ending to an all time low.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 6, 2006
  2. #2
    Lilian

    Lilian Well-Known Member

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    Many optical pictures 'set the scene' in our heads, so it's direct and enjoyable. Good punctuation, too.
     
  3. #3
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Great job. I loved it. great vocabulary, imagery, story. Just amazing.
     
  4. #4
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Dave, as corney as it may sound I still feel privalidged to have helped you on these lyrics een though with or without my verse the song would be great, awesome job man :)
     
  5. #5
    Joe

    Joe I'm tried LPA Administrator

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    Good work. I enjoyed reading it.
     
  6. #6
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    As I've already said to you over MSN, no worries man. It was good to work with you again ^_^



    Thanks for the comments everyone, they're appreciated ^_^
     
  7. #7
    sickcycle

    sickcycle Well-Known Member

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    I thought it was good, just the "my gosh" part seemed corny or out of place with the rest of it.
     
  8. #8
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    I loved it. All except the gosh, but what the hell. Good work, the both of you.
     
  9. #9
    Dedicated

    Dedicated LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Thanks for the comments. Looks like I'll have to think of something to replace 'My gosh' :D
     
  10. #10
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    How about 'my word' :lol:
     
  11. #11
    The_Cool_Cow

    The_Cool_Cow Well-Known Member

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    A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

    The imagery that you create with this piece is amazing. I especially love the 'beautiful ending' bits near the end of your verses.

    An amazing piece. It really reminds me of Kenji, how it paints a picture in your head.
     
  12. #12
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Jiminy crickets!

    :lol:
     
  13. #13
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    While we're at it why don't we change the name of the lyrics to 'Let Your Consience Be Your Guide' Featuring Pinnichio, Old man who brings puppet to life because he feels lonely, weird eyed cat and strange angel :lol:

    I took it too far didn't I :lol:
     

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